Last week we looked at the influential copywriting of Arthur Schiff, who coined the phrase, “But wait, there’s more,” which was destined to become a classic line in  direct response marketing.  Schiff wrote these words as part of the Ginsu Knife infomercial, a television commercial that set the standard in how as seen on TV products are promoted.  No matter how persuasive the ad copywriting, however, an infomercial will be rendered ineffective without the proper delivery.

Enter the pitchman.

Originally used to identify a traveling salesman, a peddler, or a carnival barker, the term “pitchman” has grown to embrace salesmen of television infomercial products, particularly those who utilize aggressive and persuasive marketing strategies as part of the “pitch.”

The role of the pitchman has evolved from a faceless voice-over (as in the Ginsu infomercial) to that of pop culture icon.  While many as seen on TV products use celebrity endorsements as part of the pitch (for example, Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley for Total Gym), other pitchmen have become celebrities in their own right.  Perhaps the best known pitchmen of all time include Ron Popeil, Billy Mays, and Anthony Sullivan.

Popeil has been appearing in infomercials longer, selling his own inventions, including the Showtime Rotisserie Oven.  Mays, however, perfected the art of the pitch.  In fact, Billy Mays got his start as a pitchman in the traditional sense, working as a traveling salesman and hawking the Washmatik portable washer on the boardwalk at Atlantic City before becoming spokesman for Orange Glo International.  Mays promoted Orange Glo, OxiClean, and Kaboom! using his energetic pitch, becoming one of the most widely known and highly demanded infomercial pitchmen to date.

At the time of his death, Billy Mays was working closely with fellow television pitchman Anthony Sullivan.  The two not only made frequent infomercial appearances selling a variety of as seen on TV products, but also starred in the Discovery Channel program PitchMen, in which inventors would present their products to Mays and Sullivan, who would create infomercials for the products and pitch them in test markets.  After the death of Billy Mays,  Anthony Sullivan continued the show and the search for the perfect pitch.  In a recent episode, “Sully” reminisced about his friend and marked his absence at an infomercial convention:

PitchMen was not the only show to highlight the importance of aggressive, persuasive sales techniques and the salespeople who utilized them.  In 1999, a documentary film Pitch People was released that described “the art of the pitch” and spotlighted pitchmen who sold products through visual demonstration and direct response marketing.  The film, starring Ed McMahon, bills itself as “the true story of the world’s second oldest profession.”  View the Pitch People trailer here.

Perhaps the art of the pitch can best be summed up in the words of old-time pitchman Harry Mathison:

“It’s not what you sell, it’s how you tell them the price.”

It has been nearly ten months since Seen on TV Express began bringing you the Way Back Wednesday series, in which we look back at vintage infomercials and the products they marketed to television viewers.  In that time, we have looked at hair products, kitchen products, exercise equipment, fitness videos, and a slew of gizmos and gadgets designed to simplify your life.  We have even paid homage to a couple of the heroes of direct response marketing and infomercial innovations:  Billy Mays and Jack LaLanne.  We have failed, however, to bring you the origin of perhaps the most frequently used sound bite in as seen on TV marketing . . . “But wait!  There’s more!”

This ubiquitous catch phrase got its start with the iconic Ginsu knife, one of the earliest products sold through infomercial marketing. The commercial for Ginsu knives first aired in 1978, and it pulled out all the stops, setting the tone for virtually every other infomercial since.  Ad copywriter Arthur Schiff coined the classic phrase when writing the Ginsu commercial, one of the 1,800 long form commercials he wrote in a career that spanned more than thirty years.  Watch the original Ginsu commercial here, and note how many techniques and phrases are still utilized today by pitchmen including Anthony Sullivan:

Here are just a few I noticed:

• “Cultural” significance of the product (although it should be noted that Ginsu knives were made in the United States and that “Ginsu” is not a Japanese word at all, but rather one invented by Arthur Schiff–allegedly in his sleep)
• Inability to perform simple tasks without the product (of course, karate chopping a tomato is rarely effective, but note our post devoted to “doing it wrong” in infomercials.
• Using the product in ways no one would ever initially attempt (until they got the idea to chop wood with a kitchen knife from the commercial itself)
• More for less (“You get all this for only $9.99)
• And of course, “But wait!  There’s more!”

Marketing consultant John Witek, author of Response Television: Combat Advertising of the 1980s, sums it up this way:   “Ginsu had humor, demonstration, and a precisely structured series of premium offers I call ‘the lots-for-a-little approach.”  Arthur Schiff was really on to something when he wrote the Ginsu commercial.  For more than thirty years, direct response marketing has followed his model for infomercial sales techniques.

For the past few weeks, we’ve been spotlighting ways to get a prepare for the warmer weather by getting a Springalicious body (it’s a word–feel free to use it).  As women all across America are primping and pruning themselves to bare golden shoulders and smooth, tanned legs, men across our nation are drooling with anticipation.  But as their wives and their neighbors wives and that cute divorcee that just moved in down the street are prepping for swimsuit season, these men have a different type of lust on their minds–lawn lust.

For verily, the unwritten commandment, “Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s Landscaping,” is being broken in households across the land.  But, lo I say unto you, fear not!  Infomercial lawn care products shall rescue you from the abyss of brown grass, patchy turf, and pernicious weeds, which are an abomination unto thy Homeowners’ Association.

There was a time when having the nicest lawn on the block required heavy, backbreaking labor and the vigilant use of a reel mower, which is, inexplicably making a comeback as a “green” alternative to finishing the yard work sometime before you die of heat stroke.

Lawn care evolution made things both easier and more difficult for Weekend Warriors in their attempt to out-green each other’s landscaping.

Notable Innovation #1:  The Riding Lawn Mower

Notable Innovation #2:  Chemical Lawn Care Services

All of the things that simplified lawn cultivation and made neighborhood yards more lush and lovely, also meant you had to work harder to keep up with Mister-I-Win-the-HOA-Beautiful-Yard-Contest-Every-Year.

Luckily, you no longer have to don a Toreador hat to get “grass with class” or hire a toothy guy wielding a chemically enhanced pogo stick to get the lawn of your dreams.

Infomercial lawn care products include not only tools to maintain a lawn, but also the necessary ingredients to get your lawn started:

• Quick Lawn promises year-round grass that is resistant to weeds, pests, and diseases, and which starts to grow in as little as one week.
• Canada Green Perfect Turf Grass is designed to be resilient, withstanding extreme temperatures ranging from -40 degrees to 120 degrees Fahrenheit.
• Patch Perfect bills itself as “like grass seed on steroids” with each seed encased in fertilizer to promote quick, hardy growth in bare patches, shade, and other areas where typical grass struggles to grow.

As seen on TV grass seed, turf patches, and fertilizers can give you a beautiful, weed-free yard that will be the envy of your neighbors–and might induce their Springalicious wives to show up at your next barbecue baring–er, bearing potato salad and brownies.

Smooth, tan, hairless legs?  Check.  Toned, shapely legs?  Mm . . . not so check.  As my get-ready-for-Spring plan develops, I’m now saddled with the part I like the least.  Working out.  Time to get a beach body before I have to actually hit the beach.  Or the kiddie pool in my back yard.  Whatever.

Now, I know that working out releases endorphins, improves energy, promotes cardiovascular health, boosts metabolism, builds muscle, and all that good stuff, but the truth is, well, I’m really pretty lazy.  Some people enjoy working out, some people work out for better health, but me?  I work out so I can eat cupcakes and still button my pants.  Of course, with as seen on TV products like the Big Top Cupcake,  I may have to step up the workouts a little more (or buy the Perfect Fit Button, whichever).

In the SeenOnTV Express neck of the woods, Spring Break will be here next week.  That means that it is just a matter of moments, practically, until I will be forced to publicly unveil my legs below the knee (even possibly *gasp* above the knee) and my batwing arms will be displayed for the world as the tank tops come out of storage.  Because of the rapidly impending fabulous weather, I need a fitness program that works and works fast.

This?  This ain’t going to cut it:

I mean, sure, I could cover my calves and ankles with leg warmers, put a thick leather belt on over my briefs to try to camouflage my waist, and divert the eye of the beholder with the sheer height of my hair, but that would be cheating, right?

(And oh-my-goodness, is that guy wearing spandex capris?!)

As much as I dislike working out, I hate working out ineffectively even more.  If I’m going to go to the effort of exerting myself in any manner, I want to feel like I’ve accomplished something, I want to look like I’ve accomplished something, and I want to see results fast.  Luckily, Beachbody Fitness understands that some of us don’t want wimpy, spandex-wielding, 80′s style bending and stretching.  Instead, we want hardcore workouts with hardcore results.  P90X is designed to give you an amazing transformation in just 90 days (in other words, by the time summer vacation hits).  Insanity is a high-intensity total body conditioning program created by expert Shaun T. to give you amazing results in only 60 days.  For those intimidated by P90X and Insanity, Shaun T. brings Hip Hop Abs, because dancing sounds a lot more fun than a workout so intense you have to be “insane” to try it.  Beachbody trainer Chalene Johnson leads ChaLEAN Extreme and TurboFire–personally, I’m leaning toward one of these two fitness programs.

For those of you who spend your workouts calling on a Higher Power to help you through (and with these intense Beachbody programs, that includes me) Beachbody also offers BodyGospel, combining spiritual and physical fitness.

Now, if I can just get the motivation to actually get off the couch and DO the workouts, instead of sitting on the couch and writing about them, I may just be able to take my legs from this:

to this:

Help me get a beach body, Beachbody!

Last week I wrote about how the warmer has got me really feeling the pressure to get fit, tan, and hairless before donning a sundress, shorts, tank tops, or *gasp* swimsuit.  With the help of seen-on-tv hair removers, the smooth part is coming into play, but I don’t yet have the energy, will power, or stamina to conquer the fit part.  That leaves me with getting a tan without destroying my skin.  Although I love to bask in the sun, it’s not yet warm enough to do so.  I’d like to have that sun-kissed glow before actually having my legs make an appearance.  I don’t want to spend two weeks blinding the neighbors with the glare off my pasty skin before a natural tan develops.  Also, I don’t want to look like this:

It’s okay.  You can go scrub your eyes out with bleach.  I’ll wait.

Now, I have a feeling that tan had its beginnings in the Eighties, when baby oil and aluminum foil were the way to get a golden, ultra-dark tan.  You know, like this most Famous Tan of All:

The evolution of the tan is interesting.  Originally, tanned skin was a sign of being poor and having to work hard.  Bonnets and hats protected faces from the ravages of the sun.  Later, a tan was a sign of a life of leisure and of good, sporty health.  But after years of baking their skin in the sun, people began to see damage from aging, spots, wrinkles, and skin cancer.  Suddenly, a tan didn’t seem so healthy . . . but it still looked good:

Why, yes, that IS me in the picture.  Funny you should ask.

(Okay.  That was a lie.)

As an effort to tan safely, people turned to salon and at home tanning beds–until they realized the same damaging rays are in electronic tans.  This early 1980′s era at home tanner is an example of the misguided measures people took to get a sunless tan:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiqkpcEL6JA

Fortunately, sunless tanning has developed (pardon the pun).  From damaging electronic tans to frighteningly orange self-tanner creams, we have evolved to smoothly applied, non-streaking sunless tanning lotions and even airbrush tans and spray tans for a natural glow, minus the orange, tanned palms that are the telltale sign of a fake bake.

Of course, infomercial sunless tanners have found a way to make sunless tanning at home easier and more effective than ever.  Solerra Tanning Mitts save your palms and give you a mess-free way to easily apply your self tanner.  For an airbrush tan without salon prices, try Luminess Airbrush Tan.

As I countdown to spring, I’ll have smooth, golden skin.  I guess I’m running out of time to get started on the whole “fit” part of it.  I don’t guess it will matter how tan and hairless I am if I look like this in my bathing suit:

Oh, never mind.  All the pictures I found would make you use up all of your bleach.  Just imagine an open can of biscuit dough shoved into a bikini.

Next week — Spring Fever III:  Fit for the Beach