Smooth, tan, hairless legs?  Check.  Toned, shapely legs?  Mm . . . not so check.  As my get-ready-for-Spring plan develops, I’m now saddled with the part I like the least.  Working out.  Time to get a beach body before I have to actually hit the beach.  Or the kiddie pool in my back yard.  Whatever.

Now, I know that working out releases endorphins, improves energy, promotes cardiovascular health, boosts metabolism, builds muscle, and all that good stuff, but the truth is, well, I’m really pretty lazy.  Some people enjoy working out, some people work out for better health, but me?  I work out so I can eat cupcakes and still button my pants.  Of course, with as seen on TV products like the Big Top Cupcake,  I may have to step up the workouts a little more (or buy the Perfect Fit Button, whichever).

In the SeenOnTV Express neck of the woods, Spring Break will be here next week.  That means that it is just a matter of moments, practically, until I will be forced to publicly unveil my legs below the knee (even possibly *gasp* above the knee) and my batwing arms will be displayed for the world as the tank tops come out of storage.  Because of the rapidly impending fabulous weather, I need a fitness program that works and works fast.

This?  This ain’t going to cut it:

I mean, sure, I could cover my calves and ankles with leg warmers, put a thick leather belt on over my briefs to try to camouflage my waist, and divert the eye of the beholder with the sheer height of my hair, but that would be cheating, right?

(And oh-my-goodness, is that guy wearing spandex capris?!)

As much as I dislike working out, I hate working out ineffectively even more.  If I’m going to go to the effort of exerting myself in any manner, I want to feel like I’ve accomplished something, I want to look like I’ve accomplished something, and I want to see results fast.  Luckily, Beachbody Fitness understands that some of us don’t want wimpy, spandex-wielding, 80′s style bending and stretching.  Instead, we want hardcore workouts with hardcore results.  P90X is designed to give you an amazing transformation in just 90 days (in other words, by the time summer vacation hits).  Insanity is a high-intensity total body conditioning program created by expert Shaun T. to give you amazing results in only 60 days.  For those intimidated by P90X and Insanity, Shaun T. brings Hip Hop Abs, because dancing sounds a lot more fun than a workout so intense you have to be “insane” to try it.  Beachbody trainer Chalene Johnson leads ChaLEAN Extreme and TurboFire–personally, I’m leaning toward one of these two fitness programs.

For those of you who spend your workouts calling on a Higher Power to help you through (and with these intense Beachbody programs, that includes me) Beachbody also offers BodyGospel, combining spiritual and physical fitness.

Now, if I can just get the motivation to actually get off the couch and DO the workouts, instead of sitting on the couch and writing about them, I may just be able to take my legs from this:

to this:

Help me get a beach body, Beachbody!

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