Harold Camping had his followers all set for the end of the world on May 21, 2011.  The world didn’t end, but subsequent storms in Oklahoma, Missouri, and elsewhere around the nation had many people feeling like the end was, in fact, at hand.  Severe weather, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, and more seem to be devastating areas around the globe.  During tornado season, massive storms have caused record fatalities in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, and Joplin, Missouri.  Towns in Arkansas, Kansas, Oklahoma, and Minnesota have seen great destruction from these storms.

The reason I’m writing about severe weather on an As Seen On TV blog is because two nights ago, this was the hail that fell on my home:

And last night, this is what I saw when I looked out across my back yard:

This photo was taken from the west side of the storm.  We were on the east side of it, so that tornado you see is directly between the camera man and my house–and moving toward us.  As I took my family into the storm shelter, I was convinced that my house would be rubble when we climbed out again.

Fortunately for us, the storm turned and we were spared.  Others were not so lucky:

As my family and I huddled in our storm shelter, I wondered if our home would collapse on top of the shelter.  I wondered if we’d be able to climb out from under the debris ourselves, or if we’d have to wait for rescuers to free us.  Suddenly, the sippy cup of milk and baggie of snacks I’d brought down for our young son seemed grossly insufficient.

We are grateful that it was a non-issue for our family, but it did get me thinking a lot about emergency preparedness.  There are actually several As Seen On TV products that can help you and your family stay safe in an emergency.

Most notable is the 72 Hour Emergency Kit.  The 72 Hour Kit is designed to keep you fed, hydrated, and warm in the first 72 hours following an emergency.  Each kit contains enough food and water to sustain one person for 72 hours or until emergency personnel arrive:

• 6 (4.2 oz) Mylar water pouches
• 2400 calorie food bar
• 36-piece first aid kit
• Emergency blanket
• 5-in-1 survival aid tool
  • Compass
  • Signal whistle
  • Signal mirror
  • Waterproof match box
  • Flint firestart
• Waterproof matches
• Light stick

Another thing I was wishing for in our dark shelter was light.  We had a small battery powered lantern and a couple of flashlights, but it was still fairly dark.  Of course, when we emerged, our power was out, and we could have used some light then, too.  While not specifically designed for emergency use, the Hug Light, Widget Light, and Hex Light are all created for hands-free use, which could come in handy in a difficult situation.

Seeing a massive storm coming your way gives a feeling of incredible hopelessness.  Take every precaution available to protect yourself and your family.

To the victims of this spring’s devastating storms, our hearts are with you.

Every so often in my research of As Seen On TV products, I come across a television infomercial that really leaves me wondering . . . is this for real?  Whether its the product or the marketing, sometimes I can’t figure out if I’ve discovered an actual infomercial or an infomercial parody.

Today I came across the TV infomercial for The BackUp, a bedside gun rack.  Yes, that’s right.  A gun rack for your mattress:

The informercial stresses the importance of being safe in your own home, and if a shotgun strapped to your mattress doesn’t just SCREAM safety, I don’t know what does.

The infomercial for The BackUp uses a common marketing technique–you’ve heard that sex sells, but so does fear.  (Remember our discussion of the TigerLight commercial?  I can’t watch that infomercial without getting nightmares.)  The BackUp starts by giving you statistics about home invasions:

• “A house, apartment,  or condo is burglarized every 15 seconds.”
• “It only takes 60 seconds to break into most homes.

Those crucial seconds between the time it would take to get a handgun out of your nightstand and the time it would take to just reach down beside your mattress are vital.  VITAL. However, I find the images of people lying in bed and taking aim to be a little disturbing.  I mean, how many other infomercials can you name in which you see people actually pointing a gun?

The BackUp then appeals to your sense of patriotism.  Having a shotgun by your bed is your American.  Right. If you don’t get The BackUp, the Commies win.

The infomercial product website for The BackUp includes other gems:

• “Where is your shotgun?  Under the bed, in the corner, or in the closet. If so, you’ll never reach it when you need it.”
• “The BackUp is made in the USA. By Americans for Americans.”
• “You need a BackUp for each side of the bed.  If you leave your wife on her side of the bed; when you’re not home then she needs access too.”

The BackUp commercial says that the product is not intended for homes with children.  Really?  Really? The website does not caution against using the BackUp in homes with children, but rather encourages users to talk about gun safety with their children.  I’m a little concerned that this product does not take a little more care in emphasizing a gun owner’s responsibility to lock up their arms if children are present.

But if you don’t have children in your home and you like to do all of your intruder-shooting while reclined comfortably against your pillows, The BackUp is the covert bedside gun rack for you.

What infomercial products leave you perplexed?

As Seen on TV Best Sellers

Infomercial products are designed to fill a need, solve a problem, minimize an annoyance.  The inventors of these As Seen on TV product innovations have an uncanny ability to find television viewers’ biggest pet peeves and market a solution.  Describing the invention of the Snuggie, one infomercial product review website noted,  “One day a guy put on his robe backwards and said, ‘I want a Porsche.’”  With over 20 million Snuggies sold in 2009 alone . . . well, that’s a lot of Porsches.

When an infomercial hits big, it REALLY hits big.  According to several sources, the television infomercial business, or Direct Response Television (DRTV) marketing, is a $300 billion dollar industry.  Forbes.com cites Remy Stern, author of But Wait . . . There’s More, in saying that the direct response marketing industry is “larger than the film, music and video game industries combined.”  So in an arena filled with failed ideas, which As Seen on TV products are generating the most revenue?

Top Ten Infomercial Products and As Seen on TV Products

A Forbes.com article released by ABC News reveals the ten most successful television infomercial products as determined by California-based research firm Jordan Whitney.  This list is based on sales figures from Nov. 2009 to Nov. 2010:

1. Bowflex Home Gym
2. Carleton Sheets Real Estate Tutorial
3. Proactiv Solution Acne Treatment
4. Ronco Showtime Rotisserie Pro Electric Rotisserie Oven
5. Sharper Image Ionic Breeze Air Purifier
6. The Firm Bodybuilding Fitness Videos
7. Walk Away the Pounds for Abs Weight Loss System
8. Gazelle Freestyle Home Exercise Equipment
9. Total Gym Challenge Home Gym
10. Foodsaver Food Vacuum Packaging Machine

Though this list provides the most successful products for last year, the As Seen on TV best sellers are constantly evolving.  In fact, infomercial researchers at Jordan Whitney also list weekly top sellers.  Last week’s best selling As Seen on TV products included mostly fitness and personal care products:

1. P90X
2. Insanity
3. No!No! Hair
4. Six Week Body Makeover
5. Turbo Fire
6. Zumba
7. Genie Bra
8. Wen Hair Care
9. Cindy Crawford’s Meaningful Beauty
10. Sensa Weight Loss System

Hm.  That list looks suspiciously like the As Seen on TV products in our Spring Fever Series.

Let’s face it.  All I had to do was put “Clap on!” in the title of this post and you now have the nearly 30-year-old jingle for The Clapper stuck in your head.

“Clap on!  Clap off!  Clap on, clap off–The Clapper!” the commercial proclaims with the precision of a military cadence.  And now, thanks to SeenOnTV Express and Way Back Wednesday, you too will be chanting this jingle.  All.  Day.  Long.

In case you were living in a cave or on a deserted island during the 1980′s and have no idea what I’m talking about, here’s the original Clapper commercial, as seen on TV during the era of big hair and Flock of Seagulls:

I find it hard to believe that we have been bringing you Way Back Wednesday’s retrospective look at infomercial products for nearly a year, and I have failed to discuss The Clapper, an icon of electronic innovation and extreme laziness.

After all . . . we had one.

My parents installed a Clapper in their bedroom–and by “installed,” I mean “plugged in.”   They plugged their television into the Clapper so that they could turn off the TV after the nightly news without getting out of bed.  As kids, we found it immensely entertaining to CLAP ON and CLAP OFF the television, and would even watch the 13-inch black and white TV in their room for the sheer elation of being the ones to get to clap twice and turn off the TV.  In fact, we would fight over the opportunity.

Which led to an interesting discovery.

You see, you don’t have to clap to turn a Clapper on and off.  Any loud noise will do.  In a household with four kids, any sibling brawl particularly heated argument could lead to the television flicking on and off repeatedly.

Once we realized how the Clapper was noise activated, our laziness increased.  Now we no longer had to use our arms!  We could lie motionless and shout, “TURN!  OFF!”  and the screen would go black, except for the lingering dot of light in the center of the television screen that would take an inordinately long time to finally fade away.

By the time I left for college, the novelty of the Clapper, still in use in the master bedroom, had dimmed like the screen of the tiny black and white television.  Perhaps that is because I was older.  Wiser.  More jaded.

Or perhaps it was because I didn’t know that the Clapper had been upgraded.  That’s right, folks–1992 issued in the Smart Clapper.  “How smart can it be?”  Funny you should ask:

Mock if you will, but I say we bring back the Clapper.  Sure we have remotes for our televisions now . . . but can you ever find yours when you need it?   What about Christmas lights?  Floor lamps?  And how will the kids be amused as you shout at them to CLEAN YOUR ROOM NOW if your appliances aren’t sporadically powered on and off during your tirade?

Clap on, my friend.  Clap on.