As the SeenOnTV Express blogger, I’m constantly being made aware of the newest, hottest As Seen On TV products.  While some of the products don’t necessarily appeal to me, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t frequently stumble across a product that I just have to have.  As Seen On TV beauty products, kitchen products, exercise equipment, fitness videos, and comfort items all make my list.  With the holidays just around the corner, I thought it would be a perfect time to share some of my favorite products–the ones I hope show up under my Christmas tree.  After all, Santa knows I’ve been very good this year.  Well–at least he knows I tried.

As Seen On TV Christmas List

• Forever Lazy – I’m not gonna lie.  This looks super cozy and comfortable.  For someone who works from home, this would be the perfect gift.  I may never wear actual clothes again.  At least until spring.
• Instyler – If I’m not mistaken, this made my list last year, but I didn’t find it in my stocking.  I think if I’m going to be spending my days in a giant, adult sized onesie, at least my hair should look good.
• Flex Seal – I know–household products shouldn’t really be on a Christmas list.  Next thing you know I’ll be asking for a blender.  But I really, really want to make a boat out of a screen door.
• Ninja Kitchen Blender – Yep.  I told you I’d be asking for a blender next.  I have a blender already.  It even has a food processing bowl.  But it is not this cool.  Not. At. All.
• Flex Mini – Seriously.  I can tone my butt without ever doing a single squat?  Sign me up.
• Any of the Beachbody videos - I don’t really like to work out, but I do really like to eat.  If I’m going to work out, I want it to be worth my time and energy.  I want it to feel like a workout, and I want results.  Beachbody workouts like P90x, Insantity, TurboFire, and Chalean Extreme are effective workouts for people who aren’t afraid to work hard to get results fast.

If I’ve been good enough this year, expect to see me in January, recovering from my Insanity workout by mixing up a healthy detox smoothie in my Ninja Kitchen Blender while wearing Forever Lazy and getting a workout boost from my Flex Mini.  And, gurrrl, my hair will look goooood.

It seems like more and more, our perception of what is healthful and nutritious is changing.  Workouts used to be aerobics driven, and “toning” consisted of high repetitions of low weights.  Now, both men and women are encouraged to build lean muscle through intensive weight training to build muscle and boost metabolism.  As Seen On TV workout videos have changed their focus from Jazzercise type aerobics videos to boot camp style, high intensity workouts like Insanity and P90X.

Nutrition recommendations have changed as well.  We used to fear eating eggs because they are loaded with cholesterol, but now doctors have determined that the cholesterol from foods does little to affect the cholesterol in our bodies.  We used to shun fats at all costs, but now we are encouraged to consume healthy fats that protect our hearts, such as the fats in walnuts, avocados, and Omega-3 fatty acids which promote healthy brain function.

To help incorporate healthy antioxidants from fruits and vegetables and plant-based “good fats,” nutritionists have long recommended drinking smoothies.  However, it is important to be careful when relying on smoothies for healthy eating, because those from restaurants, fast food chains, and specialty smoothie shops are often laden with hidden fat, sugar, and calories.  For the optimum nutrition from smoothies, health experts recommend blending your own smoothies at home.

As Seen On TV juicers and blenders have long been popular for making delicious smoothies easily.  Juicers such as the Jack LaLanne Power Juicer, the Sharper Image Super Juicer, and the Living Well Healthmaster Emulsifier allow you to quickly take the nutritious juice from fruits and veggies while separating pulp, seeds, and other unwanted portions.

Juicers are great for making nutrient-rich juices from whole foods, but many people simply don’t have the counter space or storage space for yet another appliance.  The Ninja Kitchen System is a great new solution.  The Ninja is more than a blender or juicer.  In fact, with its two containers and five attachments, the Ninja does the work of your blender, food processor, juicer, mixer, and more.  The Ninja comes with a 72 ounce blender pitcher and a 40 ounce processing bowl.  Its five attachments include:

• Blending blade
• Food processing blade
• Whisk attachment
• Dough hook
• Dough paddle

With the Ninja, you can make not only smoothies, but also salsas, soups, pizza dough, and even ice cream.  By making these items at home, you can be certain of the ingredients included and know that there are no added preservatives, hidden fats, or extra sugar.  Make foods as low fat, high fiber, and healthy as you want.

Smoothies are also a great way to sneak nutrition to your kids.  While they may not be likely to eat a plate full of vegetables, you can sneak those same veggies into a fruit-filled smoothie.  Boost brain-building DHA by adding Omega-rich flaxseed to a smoothie, or ramp up the fiber content by adding a tablespoon or two of wheat germ.

With the Ninja blender, you can make smoothies, granitas, frozen drinks, juices, and even ice cream–all low fat and full of vitamins and minerals–and you can have them as quickly as the press of a button.

Raise a glass to healthy living!

Last week I wrote about As Seen On TV kitchen products, and this week is more of the same--although with a twist.  Last week I talked about getting ready for holiday cooking with the Butterball Indoor Electric Turkey Fryer, but this week, I have a more pressing cooking engagement on my mind.  This weekend I’ll be throwing a birthday party.  A 40th birthday party.  Which means I’ll have to make cake.  Which means I need some As Seen On TV bakeware, pronto.  But I’ll get to that in a minute.

See, because this is a 40th birthday party, we’ve decided to go with an 80′s theme.  It’s like Halloween, only earlier and for old people.  Anyway, I’ve been trying to find ways to make this a truly memorable party, even though the guest of honor may soon begin losing his memory as he gets really, really old.

First, I need a costume.  By costume,  I mean I need to raid my clothing in storage to see if anything still fits.  I considered wearing a fitness getup like one from a 1980′s infomercial exercise video:

Then I remembered that no one wants to see me in a leotard.

I know we’re going to have an 80′s soundtrack playing all night, and so I thought one of the Time Life Music compilations might just fit the bill for our evening of New Wave, One Hit Wonders, and Hair Bands.

I thought maybe I could practice some sweet dance moves with the 1980′s infomercial break dance tutorial by Alfonso Ribeiro, “Pop and Lock:”

Then I remembered the only thing I’m likely to break is a hip.

So I’m settling for making a Pac Man cake.  I figure it can’t be to hard to mess up, right?  I mean, I bake a round cake, cut out a wedge, and frost it yellow.  What could possibly go wrong?

Except I decided that if I have a Pac Man, I need a Ghost.  So . . . okay.  I make a rectangle cake and cut it into the shape of a Pac Man Ghost, then frost it pink or blue.  Okay.  I think I’ve still got it.  No problem.

Except I decided that if I have a Pac Man and a Ghost, then I need some Power Pellets to connect them.  Why do I do this to myself?

Luckily, the Power Pellets should be about the easiest part of this cake.  Maybe even easier than Pac Man, because I can almost guarantee I won’t be able to frost it smoothly and there will be crumbs all in the icing.  Why am I convinced the Power Pellets will be so easy?  Because I’m making CAKE POPS.

Now, traditionally, cake pops or cake balls are simple but time consuming.  They involve baking a cake, crumbling it, mixing in frosting, chilling, rolling a bazillion balls, dipping, more chilling . . . you get the picture.  But even though I keep adding to my party t0-do list, I’m not one for time consuming projects.

Enter Bake Pop and Tasty Top Cake Pops.  These two new As Seen On TV cake pop baking pans will let me make perfectly round Power Pellets without any crumbling or rolling.  I can just pour the cake batter into the bakeware, bake it, and I’ll have the most enviable (and delicious) Power Pellets around.

Now--it’s off to find a crimper and some industrial strength hairspray.  It’ll be, like, totally awesome.

Finally . . . finally . . . we’ve had a break in the weather.  No longer are our temperatures reaching triple digits, but we’ve been blessed with gorgeous, sunny days with highs in the low 80s.  I’ve seen a few people jump the gun a bit and venture out in their furry boots and scarves, but these sweaty fashionistas should perhaps wait until it gets really cold–like 65–to start pulling out their winter wear.

Though it’s not quite time for winter clothes yet,Autumn is indeed just around the corner.  In fact, the first day of Fall is only two days away.  That means you only have a few days to enjoy the start of the cooler season before you have to get wrapped up in the holiday frenzy.  After all, there are only 94 days until Christmas and only 64 until Thanksgiving.  It is time to get a jump on your holiday cooking with some of the many As Seen On TV kitchen products available to make your food prep easier and your recipes more delicious.

The first holiday approaching us is Halloween, and though it doesn’t require nearly the kitchen effort of all-out-gorgefests like Thanksgiving, you will need some fun, spooky goodies if there are little ghosts and goblins running around your house.  Make show-stopping treats without turning into a witch with Tasty Top Cake Pops.  Cake pops, cake truffles, and cake balls are all the rage right now, but they are traditionally very time consuming to make.  Tasty Top Cake Pops let you make a lighter, fluffier version quickly and easily.  Just pour any batter into the Cake Pops bakeware, and perfectly round cake pops will bake.  Insert the sticks and decorate.  For Halloween, try orange frosting to make jack-o-lantern cake pops, white frosting to make ghosts or skulls, and green for a witch.  Top the witch with a “hat” made of a chocolate cookie and a chocolate kiss candy.

Once your trick-or-treaters have come and gone, it’s time to think about planning your Thanksgiving menu.  Integral to almost any American Thanksgiving dinner is a moist, tender, golden turkey.  Unfortunately, too many of us suffer through overcooked turkey, or–as I like to call it–”turkey jerky.”  Deep fried turkey has become a popular way to prepare the centerpiece of the meal, but traditionally, deep frying a turkey has been a task fraught with peril.  Hot oil and open flames, just don’t mix, as we discovered in an earlier post about exploding turkeys.

Of course, As Seen On TV cooking products come to the rescue with the Butterball Indoor Electric Turkey Fryer.  The Butterball Fryer lets you deep fry a turkey without the hazard, removing the open flame and allowing you to cook indoors.  Perfect turkey can be yours with the Butterball Indoor Turkey Fryer, sparing your guests from turkey jerky and sparing you from your mother-in-law’s snide comments about your cooking ability.

What are you waiting for?   The countdown to the holidays is well underway!

I’m intrigued by the Flex Seal commercial.  You know, the one where the guy makes a boat out of a screen door by sealing it with the  liquid rubber sealant?

I’m amazed.  Awestruck.  I totally want to get a screen door and see if I can make it float.

That’s one of the things I love about infomercial product demonstrations.  Not only do they point out the difficulties in every day tasks (“Why, now that you mention it, my blanket IS complicated.”), but they show you how effective a product is by using it for a purpose no one will ever need.  Like making a boat out of a screen door--which, now that I think of it, might be a good idea in case of flooding.  I wonder how Hurricane Irene would stand up to Flex Seal?

Intentional misuse of As Seen on TV products for demonstration purposes has been around as long as infomercials themselves.  The original Ginsu knife infomercial from 1978 shows the knife being abused in all sorts of ways.

Let’s see . . . I can use my Ginsu knife to:

1. Cut an aluminum can, because you never know when you might need slices of aluminum.
2. Slice bread so thin you can see through it, because who really wants bread interfering with their sandwich?
3. Chop wood, because using a knife is totally easier than using an ax.

You can even hammer your Ginsu knife.  What better way to take out kitchen aggression than hammering the handle of your utensils?

Ginsu may have started the Product Abuse as Demonstration, but they sure aren’t the only ones to effectively utilize this technique.

Krazy Glue takes job site safety to new . . . heights.

• Mighty Putty can pull an 80,000 pound tractor trailer.
• Miracle Blade III can slice a pineapple.  In mid-air.
• The Blendtec blender can pulverize your cell phone.
• The Oreck and Dyson vacuums can pick up a bowling ball.
• Speaking of bowling balls, you can drop one on a Simmons Beautyrest mattress without knocking over the pins.

And just watch the first few seconds of this Billy Mays OxiClean commercial:

You can remove stains from a bowl of water.  A BOWL.  OF WATER.

Amazing.

You have to admit that these crazy testing methods are certainly attention-getting.  I mean, if I have to run over the same piece of popcorn fifteen times with my vacuum (before picking it up, inspecting it, and throwing it back on the floor for another couple of vacuum passes), then maybe I’d be more satisfied with a vacuum that could suction up a bowling ball.  And if my blender can puree my wireless communication device, just imagine what it could do for my smoothies.

It’s important to think of all these contingent uses for your As Seen on TV products.  After all, you wouldn’t want to get stuck up a creek without a screen door.

Lately I’ve been working on a lot of crafty projects with my toddler.  Unfortunately, I’m plagued by ICTDT Syndrome (“I can totally do that!”), which means my result is never quite what I intended . . . and by “quite” I mean that I blame the two-year-old for the craftastrophe, and people actually believe it.  Of course there are a lot of As Seen on TV arts and craft products and tools for Do-It-Yourselfers, and these are designed to make crafting, building, and remodeling easy for even novices.  Unfortunately, for some of us, there’s just no help.

For example, The Bedazzler made creating jeweled fashions simple for anyone.  Well, almost anyone:

I’m sure Jaycee’s Mommmy will wear this Bedazzled garment with pride at the next PTA meeting.   And Jaycee will enjoy many years of therapy.

Crafters are not alone in their failures, however.  DIY projects of all kinds can go dramatically wrong in a second, even with the best of tools–although I’m not sure this qualifies as the best of tools:

Perhaps this home improvement genius should consider the Half Time Drill Driver, no?  Clearly, he’s in the market for a new drill.  At least, I hope so, or this is even more Fail than I thought.

Crafts, Do-It-Yourself . . . and let’s not forget Cake Fail.  There is a whole website dedicated to the ridiculous cake fails of professional bakers, but homemade cakes can often really take cake horror to a whole new level:

Oh, how I hope this cake isn’t for poor Jaycee.

Of course you want your cake to be the focal point of the party.  Of course you want your cake decorating skills to be talked about for years to come.  But not like this.

Or this:

Never.  Like.  This.

No, if you want a cake that is eye-catching, not eye-gouging, try a Big Top Cupcake instead, and keep your kids from joining Jaycee and Emma in their “Ways My Mom Ruined My Life” recovery group.

Or if you’re like me, and you STILL think you can do it, head over to SeenOnTV Express and check out the selection of As Seen on TV arts and crafts products, tools, and kitchen products.  You can totally do that!

One of the really, really hard things about working for a company that offers As Seen On TV products is that you want to buy almost everything you see.  We’ve discussed before how infomercial products are designed to fill a need that you may not have even realized you had, so when I see a product that solves any dilemma in my life, or that looks fun, or that will make things easier, or . . . well, I just want it.  A lot.

Of course, money does not, in fact, grow on trees, so I have really worked to curb my impulse spending.  Instead buying the things that I oh-my-goodness-have-to-have-now, I have started keeping a mental As Seen On TV wishlist.  Here are some of my top picks on infomercial products that I desperately want (and will only be able to refrain from buying for so long):

1. The Instyler – Smooth, shiny, and bouncy hair?  Eliminate frizzies in less time?  Straight hair that isn’t smashed flat and limp?  Using one tool to curl or straighten?  Who wouldn’t love this?!  Sign me up.
2. The Flex Mini – Okay, seriously.  A butt workout without working out.  A lunge-free and squat-free way to get firm thighs and rounded glutes.  It’s on.
3. Big Top Cupcake – I don’t honestly know why I want this so badly.  I just do.  I think it would be fun to make these for my son’s birthday parties.  Or maybe it’s just the idea of a ginormous cupcake sounds so heavenly.
4. Luminess Airbrush Tan – I was raised in the era of the “healthy glow” by a mother who ingrained in me that “tan fat looks better than white fat,” but am now forced to face the facts about the sun’s damaging properties.  With an airbrush tan, maybe I could have that sunkissed look I love without those pesky wrinkles and melanoma.
5. Gyro Bowl – I have a toddler.  End of story.

Of course, this is an incomplete list of Stuff I Want.  I pretty much want every Beachbody exercise DVD program and all of the plants that let me grow my own cherries/blueberries/peppers/insert-produce-here at home.  As long as I’m doing this, I know my As Seen On TV wishlist will continue to grow like grass on a Canada Green lawn.

On a side note, a few of the products to which I’ve already succumbed include Strap Perfect, Kangaroo Keeper, Emery Cat, Snuggie, and Bare Lifts–all of which have been well worth it!

What’s on your infomercial wishlist?

Most infomercial products are ingenious, identifying a problem (often one you didn’t even know you had) and addressing the solution to that problem.  Do your arms stay chilly while you try to read?  Try a Snuggie!  Peeling boiled eggs takes forever and leaves little bits of shell in your lunch?  Try Eggies!  Is your hair an unruly mess?  Try the Instyler!  From kitchen products to beauty products, from exercise equipment to household products, infomercials provide a wealth of conveniences.

Every so often, though, an As Seen on TV product comes around that leaves me scratching my head.  The Happy Hot Dog Man is one such product.  Now, don’t get me wrong--I’m all for making mealtime fun for the kids (I still want a Big Top Cupcake), but the Happy Hot Dog Man may just be taking it one step too far:

“It’s like a toy you can eat!!”

To make fun little Hot Dog Men that you can dress and decorate before devouring, simply place the hot dog into the Happy Hot Dog Man press.  In about a second, you can have a Happy Hot Dog Man with arms, legs, and a smiling mouth.  This trick would take you about three seconds with a knife, so you can see what a time saver it is.  It even comes with a Ketchup Critter and a Mustard Monster to help your kids make messes decorate the Happy Hot Dog Man.

The Happy Hot Dog Man has been mocked featured on Jimmy Kimmel Live and Good Morning America.

While my initial reaction to the Happy Hot Dog Man is one of ridicule, I actually DO see some practical use for this product.  As the parent of a toddler, I know that making food entertaining is one of the only ways to get a small child to actually eat dinner, rather than pushing it away, saying, “No, mommy!  I don’t like dat yucky dinner!” or throwing it directly on the floor.  And of course, I’m not handing my two-and-a-half year old a knife and having him make his own Happy Hot Dog Man, lest we venture to the hospital to see Happy ER Doctor for a set of stitches.

Maybe the Happy Hot Dog Man isn’t such a silly infomercial kitchen product after all.

AP/Ariel Hankin

Fairwell to Fitness Legend Jack LaLanne

The legendary fitness guru who once joked, “”I can’t afford to die. It would wreck my image,” recently passed away at the age of 96.  On Sunday, January 23, 2011, wellness expert Jack LaLanne died of respiratory failure as a result of pneumonia.  LaLanne was a leader in promoting and popularizing fitness and wellness,  and is credited by numerous celebrities as the reason they adopted a fit, healthy lifestyle.

LaLanne used his enthusiasm and his understanding of wellness to encourage others and to bring exercise out of the gym and into the living rooms of the common man--and woman--as early as the 1950′s.  Jack LaLanne said, “The only way you can hurt the body is not use it. Inactivity is the killer and, remember, it’s never too late.”  The unassuming man proved this time and again through feats of strength and fitness that would amaze his audience and help spread his message.   According to an Associated Press obituary listed on Yahoo! News, LaLanne performed 1,000 pushups in 23 minutes on the show You Asked For It--at the age of 43.  When he was 60, he swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco.  If successfully swimming more than a mile through the choppy, frigid water (seasonal temperatures in the Bay range from 46-73 degrees) weren’t enough, LaLanne swam “handcuffed, shackled, and towing a boat.”

Jack LaLanne -- it takes more than exercise

LaLanne’s message of health did not end with the importance of exercise.  He was a proponent of natural nutrition, focused on whole grains, lean protein, and fresh fruits and vegetables.  In fact, he made getting vital nutrients easier with the Jack LaLanne Power Juicer, one of the most successful infomercial products available.

Finally, LaLanne focused on total mind-body wellness, illustrating the power of optimism and the role of exercise and nutrition on improving one’s emotional outlook:

When asked about his intensive daily workout routine and how long he planned to keep it up, Jack LaLanne replied, “”How long are you going to keep breathing? How long do you keep eating? You just do it.”

He is survived by his wife of 51 years, Elaine LaLanne, and his three children, Dan, Jon, and Yvonne.

Jack LaLanne -- you will be missed.

At this time of year, many people are diving headfirst into their New Year’s Resolutions.  [4BP4M9G6FRD3] Even more are giving up on those lofty goals, figuring they’ve got the next eleven months to achieve them. (To quote a friend who lit up a cigarette at 12:05 a.m. on January 1, “I said I was going to quit smoking this year. I didn’t say I was going to quit today.”)  In the spirit of the new year, I was planning to write this week’s Way Back Wednesday with a focus on vintage infomercial weight loss products or as-seen-on-TV exercise equipment.  But quite frankly, all of this thinking about fitness just makes me hungry.  When I’m hungry, all I can think of is how to get food and how to get it NOW.

And so Way Back Wednesday takes a detour.

When my search for weight loss infomercials of the 1980′s and 1990′s turned to a search for infomercial products designed for cooking convenience, I came across this “handy” device.  The Handy Peel was a kitchen glove designed to make peeling vegetables quick and easy, and I’ve got to admit, it has me wondering how I can get a hold of this product:

I do think it is funny that the effectiveness of the Handy Peel is compared with peeling with a knife, rather than and actual vegetable peeler, like the Titan Peeler.

I think the Handy Peel introduced other “hands-on” methods of cooking.  I mean, why mess with extra kitchen utensils and tools, when you can just handle the food directly?  The Ove Glove eliminates the bulk of traditional oven mitts and hot pads, leaving you with the manual dexterity to adroitly pull your pans from the oven without burning yourself or dumping your freshly baked dinner on the floor. The Grill Glove is another way to make cooking easier by skipping the middleman and leaving your tongs and spatulas in the drawer.  Just grab and flip the meat on your grill; the heat-resistant silicone gloves are sanitary and safe.

Now if they could just invent a glove that would load the dishwasher, I’d be set.