With both AccuWeather and the 2012 Farmer’s Almanac predicting another cold, brutal, stormy winter, it is best to get prepared while things are still relatively pleasant outside.  Having a longstanding reputation for being The Biggest Cold Weather Wimp Ever, I am personally quite excited by all of the As Seen On TV products designed to keep me snug and cozy all winter long–without wrecking my utility bills.  Whether you are looking warm yourself, your house, or even . . .yes . . . your dog, SeenOnTV Express has the top selling infomercial products to make for a cozy winter despite the bleak forecast.

As Seen On TV Blankets and More

Wrap up in comfort to keep yourself, your kids, and your pets snug as a bug.

• Snuggie:  choose from the original Snuggie, Designer Snuggie, Snuggie Varsity, or even Custom Snuggie
• Snuggie for Kids:  especially designed in a smaller size for children
• Snuggie for Dogs:  fits much more easily than tight pet sweaters and still allows freedom of movement
• Forever Lazy:  more than a blanket with sleeves, Forever Lazy is like a blanket with sleeve and legs–one piece for warm comfort no matter what you’re doing  . . . or not doing.

As Seen On TV Heaters

The exquisite look of Amish craftmanship paired with safe, radiant heat make As Seen On TV Heaters a popular way to cut utility costs while staying cozy even on the coldest of days.

• Heat Surge Hand Crafted Amish Electric Fireplace:  puts out 4606 BTUs of heat through a realistic, flickering flame, giving the ambience of a real fireplace
• iHeater:  uses infrared heat to safely heat up to 1,000 square feet while remaining cool to the touch, saving you up to 50% on your utility bills.

Other As Seen On TV Products for Winter:

• Twin Draft Guard:  blocks drafts around windows and doors, keeping warm air in and cold air out, cutting energy costs by up to 30%
• Pet ZZZ Pad:  if a Snuggie for Dogs isn’t enough, try this unique warming pad designed for your pet’s bed

Even though there are so many products available to help keep your temperature up and your heating costs down, I’m still hoping that the predictions of another Snowpocalypse prove false.  In the meantime, bundle up.  Baby, it’s cold outside.

Thanksgiving is a time where we all take a minute to focus on the things for which we are grateful.  For many Americans, a minute is all the gratitude gets, and then focus turns to the gigantic smorgasbord of delectable holiday dishes spread before them.

Speaking of “spread,” that’s exactly what begins to happen to one’s softer body parts . . . belly, thighs, butt . . . after all of this Thanksgiving indulgence.  With Christmas just around the corner, though, a lot of people don’t want to put the time or effort into dieting or losing weight until the start of the New Year.   I mean, why try to fight all the temptation, right?  The siren song of the pie is far too strong.

Luckily, there are temporary solutions to the post-Thanksgiving weight gain that can keep you looking great at holiday parties, even as you graze the hors d’oeuvres table or add an extra dollop of whipped cream to your second–or third–slice of pie.  As Seen on TV shapewear promises to comfortably smooth your bulges, firm you flab, and hide your muffin top while you enjoy breakfast muffins.

Here are a few of my favorites:

• Slim N Lift Supreme Comfort Body Shaper – slims from the bustline to the knee for smooth, bulge-free back, waist, hips, and thighs
• Kymaro Body Shaper – includes both cami and shorts, worn separately or together, for shapely support when and where you need it
• Curve Control Jeans – stylish jeans that flatten the stomach, lift the buttocks, and slim and trim the hips and thighs, flattering all body types

Of course, these products are designed to help you look better–they are designed to fit comfortably while giving a slimmer appearance.  Sometimes, though, you just want comfort.  Maybe you want your favorite jeans to fit like they did before Thanksgiving.  Maybe you want to hang out in your pajamas all day–or just feel like you are.  There are As Seen On TV products that fit the bill for those needs as well:

• Perfect Fit Button – designed to adjust the waistband of any pants.  Extend the waist after Thanksgiving, then take it in after your New Year’s Resolution to lose weight kicks in.
• Pajama Jeans – look like jeans but fit like cozy pajama pants.  Throw them on in the morning and you don’t have to worry about changing into suitable clothes when you run out for errands.
• Forever Lazy – If you know you’ll be staying in, spend your day in this super-soft fleece adult onesie.  No binding snaps, straps, buckles, zippers, or waistbands.  Just pure comfort all day long.

With As Seen on TV shapewear and loungewear, you can look great and feel great.  But order yours now.  We won’t take it easy on you for long.  Coming soon:  As Seen on TV fitness products to get your body back in shape once your holiday excuses are gone.

A couple of weeks ago, the Seen On TV Express blog discussed how As Seen On TV blankets and lounge wear elevate relaxation and comfort to an art form.  Featured in the blog post was Forever Lazy, the one-piece fleece suit designed to keep you warm and comfortable from head to toe all winter long.

When I wrote that post, despite poking a little fun at the Forever Lazy, I decided that I really would like one.  I mean, I’ve always been a little jealous of my toddler in his warm, fuzzy, footie pajamas and wished I had a pair for myself.  Unfortunately, adult footie pajamas are hard to find and expensive.  The feet in footie pajamas can’t possibly comfortably fit a range of foot sizes, flopping around on teeny tiny feet, and causing the more Sasquatchian among us to curl their toes or bust out the ends like a hobo.

Another problem with footed pajamas is for those people who really don’t like to wear socks or whose feet get hot when covered.  Personally, I wear socks pretty much at all times, and I hate for my feet to be cold, but footie pajamas just don’t have the coverage I want.  Forever Lazy does not have built in feet, but it does come with free matching footies/slipper socks.  Wear Forever Lazy with socks as thick or thin as you want–or with no socks at all.  You can even put on your shoes to run out to the mailbox or pick up the newspaper to start your day of leisure.

Recently, I was in a major retail store and I saw women’s footie pajamas.  For the same price as the hard-to-find adult footie pajamas, you can get two pair of Forever Lazy with its Buy One Get One Free offer.

When I wrote the blog post on As Seen On TV loungewear, pillows, and blankets, I had no idea how Forever Lazy would take off.  Since that time, I’ve seen dozens of posts about the Forever Lazy infomercial on my personal Facebook page, and I’ve seen several news articles about how Forever Lazy is going to overtake Snuggie as the must-have, kitchy-yet-fabulous, As Seen On TV gift.  I’ve seen that, just like the Snuggie parties of a few years past, Forever Lazy parties are becoming a new trend.  I’ve even heard of bars where all the bartenders wear Forever Lazy as part of the shtick.  Many people believe that Forever Lazy will quickly triumph over the Snuggie in the “Cozy War.”

I, for one, believe it.  As Seen On TV products are constantly growing, evolving, and becoming better than ever.  If the Snuggie was the top-selling infomercial product, with 20 million sales between their release in September 2008 and December 2009, then it stands to reason that two to three years later, a new blockbuster infomercial product would take its place.  Forever Lazy seems to be that product.

I fully expect to see one under my Christmas tree this year–even if I have to buy it for myself.

As Seen On TV products have always been marketed on the premise that they make life easier.  Chores are done more quickly, more efficiently, more easily, and with less mess than ever before when you use the latest, greatest infomercial products.  It’s a premise that works well, as the As Seen On TV industry continues to grow and reach record profits despite a persistently deflated economy.

In recent years, infomercials have gone beyond the idea of making chores easier and have started touting As Seen On TV products that even make leisure more . . . well, leisurely.  These products make relaxation an art.

I’m not sure if it started with the Total Pillow, which conforms to just about any possible shape one might want for proper and perfect cradling of the head while lounging, or if that icon of relaxation and warmth, the Snuggie, was the instigator.  I do know that I am all about any product that make relaxing and staying warm even easier and cozier than it was before, and that any As Seen On TV product that glorifies laziness is totally making my Christmas wish list.

Enter “Forever Lazy.”

No, that’s not just a description of your SeenOnTV Express blogger.  It’s the actual name of  As Seen On TV loungewear that makes comfort, warmth, and coziness priorities and takes laziness from the list of Seven Deadly Sins and makes it practically a virtue.  If you thought Pajama Jeans were designed for ultimate comfort, wait until you get a load of Forever Lazy.

Forever Lazy is footless, one piece fleece loungewear.  It looks, in short, awesome.  If you have ever seen a baby in pajamas, and saw that baby sleeping like . . . well, like a baby, and thought to yourself, “Why don’t they make pajamas like that for adults,” THEY DO.  Forever Lazy is like the perfect onesie for grown-ups.  You can swaddle yourself head-to-toe in cozy, warm fleece and still have complete range of motion to get up and grab another cup of coffee or hot chocolate before curling back up with your book or Netflix or whatever.  It even has flaps like the old “union suits” for quickly taking care of your, um, business.

I’m not kidding.  This is on my Christmas wishlist.  If Santa sees fit to bring it to me, I promise you this . . . I will not take it off from December 26 until sometime in April.  Bring on Snowpocalypse 2012.

On a side note, I think it is important to instill children with the virtues we hold dear.  As Seen On TV coziness extends its benefit to children as well:  Pillow Pets, Happy Nappers, and BlanKid are all combination cuddly stuffed animal/blanket/pillow sets that help your kids stay comfortable and comforted.  And while you are snuggling in front of the TV for family movie night, you and your honey can snuggle up under your Couples Snuggie while your kids are warm and toasty in their Snuggie for Kids.  Even your pets can get in on the action inaction with Snuggie for Dogs or the PetZZZ Pad pet bed warmer.

Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but with As Seen On TV blankets and more, inside it’s so delightful.  Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

One of the really, really hard things about working for a company that offers As Seen On TV products is that you want to buy almost everything you see.  We’ve discussed before how infomercial products are designed to fill a need that you may not have even realized you had, so when I see a product that solves any dilemma in my life, or that looks fun, or that will make things easier, or . . . well, I just want it.  A lot.

Of course, money does not, in fact, grow on trees, so I have really worked to curb my impulse spending.  Instead buying the things that I oh-my-goodness-have-to-have-now, I have started keeping a mental As Seen On TV wishlist.  Here are some of my top picks on infomercial products that I desperately want (and will only be able to refrain from buying for so long):

1. The Instyler – Smooth, shiny, and bouncy hair?  Eliminate frizzies in less time?  Straight hair that isn’t smashed flat and limp?  Using one tool to curl or straighten?  Who wouldn’t love this?!  Sign me up.
2. The Flex Mini – Okay, seriously.  A butt workout without working out.  A lunge-free and squat-free way to get firm thighs and rounded glutes.  It’s on.
3. Big Top Cupcake – I don’t honestly know why I want this so badly.  I just do.  I think it would be fun to make these for my son’s birthday parties.  Or maybe it’s just the idea of a ginormous cupcake sounds so heavenly.
4. Luminess Airbrush Tan – I was raised in the era of the “healthy glow” by a mother who ingrained in me that “tan fat looks better than white fat,” but am now forced to face the facts about the sun’s damaging properties.  With an airbrush tan, maybe I could have that sunkissed look I love without those pesky wrinkles and melanoma.
5. Gyro Bowl – I have a toddler.  End of story.

Of course, this is an incomplete list of Stuff I Want.  I pretty much want every Beachbody exercise DVD program and all of the plants that let me grow my own cherries/blueberries/peppers/insert-produce-here at home.  As long as I’m doing this, I know my As Seen On TV wishlist will continue to grow like grass on a Canada Green lawn.

On a side note, a few of the products to which I’ve already succumbed include Strap Perfect, Kangaroo Keeper, Emery Cat, Snuggie, and Bare Lifts–all of which have been well worth it!

What’s on your infomercial wishlist?

I love summer.  The golden sun, the long days, the lazy schedule . . . . This summer, though, most of our nation has been gripped by a heat wave that belies last winter’s “Snowpocalypse.”  Even a true summer-phile like me can get a little tired of the unbearable heat when a seemingly endless string of 100+ degree days is unbroken by a good ol’ gully washer.  At SeenOnTV Express, our neck of the woods is crippled by the worst drought since the Dust Bowl, and our lakes, one of the only respites from the heat, have been deemed off-limits due to toxic blue-green algae flourishing in the blistering, dry heat.

The only good thing about this summer’s heat and drought is that it has put the kibosh on mosquitoes, the bane of my existence.  Unfortunately, that is not true of all bugs, pests, no-see-ums, and menacing, prolific flies.  Our hatred of flies in the house has become so extreme that our 2-year-old son has taken to the belief that anything that must be closed must be done in an effort to “keep the flies out.”

I’d better shut the garage door to keep the flies out.

I’d better close the refrigerator to keep the flies out.

I’d better shut the drawer to keep the flies out.

I’m thinking this must be a common refrain in our household, since our toddler has so thoroughly ingrained it into his little heart.

As always, though, there is an As Seen On TV product to solve the problem.  One of my favorite infomercial pest control products is the Magic Mesh magnetic screen door.   My husband and I installed a regular screen door once, and the fact that we remain married after the ordeal is a testament to pure stubbornness.  Magic Mesh, though, is easily installed on most door frames, including those on campers and RV’s.  At the end of the season, when it’s no longer needed, Magic Mesh is just as easily removed and stored.

With Magic Mesh, you can avoid the loud banging of a screen door as busy kids run in and out.  With 18 magnets pulling the screen closed, Magic Mesh closes quickly and quietly, keeping bugs out without making you bug out.

Another key feature of Magic Mesh is its ability to be used hands free.  If you are carrying plates of food to your backyard barbecue, or if you are frequently balancing meat, vegetables, and grill tools for outdoor cooking, Magic Mesh lets you easily exit and enter hands-free–and it closes automatically behind you.

If you’re bugged by insects when you are outside, consider trying Bug Bands insect repelling wristbands.  Chemical-free and odor-free, Bug Bands are a safe alternative to smelly citronella candles or noxious insect repellent sprays.

As Seen on TV Sunglasses, 1990′s Style

On the first day of summer, we bring you an innovation in sun protection, “an important development that’s keeping pace with the changing look of the 1990′s.”  This “important development” was a veritable revolution, changing the way active, beautiful people protect their bright, beautiful eyes from harmful UV rays.  As you will see from the infomercial, influenced not only sun care and eye protection, but also fashion accessories for the following decades.

Or maybe not.

Behold the Digi Sportlens:

According to the Digi Sportlens commercial, prior to the 1990′s, the sun’s rays were not harmful.  It was perfectly safe to sunbathe, tan, and otherwise bask in the sun’s rays without protection.  That’s why all those prairie farm girls wore bonnets and why the brims of cowboy hats are so wide--because WHO KNEW that sun could be damaging?

The beach-strolling pitch-couple warns that the 1990′s sun is more menacing than the “kinder, gentler” sun of previous eras due to the CFC’s that damaged the ozone layer.  Such a vitriolic sun could only be defeated by a technological breakthrough:  The Giant Visor Sunglasses Combo.

Perhaps the infomercial tactic of threatening people with imminent doom from a corroding ozone layer was not the best approach, because further Digi Sportlens commercials added emphasis to the fashionable nature of the beast:

That’s right, folks.  The Digi Sportlens is a “state-of-the-art modular system that conforms to the contours of your face.”  (And ohmygoodness, don’t you just love that guy’s shirt?!)  In this version of the infomercial, beautiful, big haired, bathing beauties parade around in their oh-so-stylish Digi Sportlens visors.

By the sheer number of Digi Sportlens rip-offs we still see today (approximately zero by my last count), we can clearly see that this trend took off like . . . fanny packs.

One thing they did get right, and that is that savvy consumers know that the sun’s rays are damaging, particularly to the eyes and the delicate skin around the eyes.  However, people aren’t willing to sacrifice style by wearing ginormous visor glasses.  As Seen On TV sunglasses like the HD Vision Aviators and Eagle Eyes Sunglasses offer superior sun protection, visual clarity, and stylish frames.

Because even if you are built like a brick house, Digi Sportlens is still going to make you look like a raging goofball.

Harold Camping had his followers all set for the end of the world on May 21, 2011.  The world didn’t end, but subsequent storms in Oklahoma, Missouri, and elsewhere around the nation had many people feeling like the end was, in fact, at hand.  Severe weather, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, and more seem to be devastating areas around the globe.  During tornado season, massive storms have caused record fatalities in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, and Joplin, Missouri.  Towns in Arkansas, Kansas, Oklahoma, and Minnesota have seen great destruction from these storms.

The reason I’m writing about severe weather on an As Seen On TV blog is because two nights ago, this was the hail that fell on my home:

And last night, this is what I saw when I looked out across my back yard:

This photo was taken from the west side of the storm.  We were on the east side of it, so that tornado you see is directly between the camera man and my house–and moving toward us.  As I took my family into the storm shelter, I was convinced that my house would be rubble when we climbed out again.

Fortunately for us, the storm turned and we were spared.  Others were not so lucky:

As my family and I huddled in our storm shelter, I wondered if our home would collapse on top of the shelter.  I wondered if we’d be able to climb out from under the debris ourselves, or if we’d have to wait for rescuers to free us.  Suddenly, the sippy cup of milk and baggie of snacks I’d brought down for our young son seemed grossly insufficient.

We are grateful that it was a non-issue for our family, but it did get me thinking a lot about emergency preparedness.  There are actually several As Seen On TV products that can help you and your family stay safe in an emergency.

Most notable is the 72 Hour Emergency Kit.  The 72 Hour Kit is designed to keep you fed, hydrated, and warm in the first 72 hours following an emergency.  Each kit contains enough food and water to sustain one person for 72 hours or until emergency personnel arrive:

• 6 (4.2 oz) Mylar water pouches
• 2400 calorie food bar
• 36-piece first aid kit
• Emergency blanket
• 5-in-1 survival aid tool
  • Compass
  • Signal whistle
  • Signal mirror
  • Waterproof match box
  • Flint firestart
• Waterproof matches
• Light stick

Another thing I was wishing for in our dark shelter was light.  We had a small battery powered lantern and a couple of flashlights, but it was still fairly dark.  Of course, when we emerged, our power was out, and we could have used some light then, too.  While not specifically designed for emergency use, the Hug Light, Widget Light, and Hex Light are all created for hands-free use, which could come in handy in a difficult situation.

Seeing a massive storm coming your way gives a feeling of incredible hopelessness.  Take every precaution available to protect yourself and your family.

To the victims of this spring’s devastating storms, our hearts are with you.

As Seen on TV Best Sellers

Infomercial products are designed to fill a need, solve a problem, minimize an annoyance.  The inventors of these As Seen on TV product innovations have an uncanny ability to find television viewers’ biggest pet peeves and market a solution.  Describing the invention of the Snuggie, one infomercial product review website noted,  “One day a guy put on his robe backwards and said, ‘I want a Porsche.’”  With over 20 million Snuggies sold in 2009 alone . . . well, that’s a lot of Porsches.

When an infomercial hits big, it REALLY hits big.  According to several sources, the television infomercial business, or Direct Response Television (DRTV) marketing, is a $300 billion dollar industry.  Forbes.com cites Remy Stern, author of But Wait . . . There’s More, in saying that the direct response marketing industry is “larger than the film, music and video game industries combined.”  So in an arena filled with failed ideas, which As Seen on TV products are generating the most revenue?

Top Ten Infomercial Products and As Seen on TV Products

A Forbes.com article released by ABC News reveals the ten most successful television infomercial products as determined by California-based research firm Jordan Whitney.  This list is based on sales figures from Nov. 2009 to Nov. 2010:

1. Bowflex Home Gym
2. Carleton Sheets Real Estate Tutorial
3. Proactiv Solution Acne Treatment
4. Ronco Showtime Rotisserie Pro Electric Rotisserie Oven
5. Sharper Image Ionic Breeze Air Purifier
6. The Firm Bodybuilding Fitness Videos
7. Walk Away the Pounds for Abs Weight Loss System
8. Gazelle Freestyle Home Exercise Equipment
9. Total Gym Challenge Home Gym
10. Foodsaver Food Vacuum Packaging Machine

Though this list provides the most successful products for last year, the As Seen on TV best sellers are constantly evolving.  In fact, infomercial researchers at Jordan Whitney also list weekly top sellers.  Last week’s best selling As Seen on TV products included mostly fitness and personal care products:

1. P90X
2. Insanity
3. No!No! Hair
4. Six Week Body Makeover
5. Turbo Fire
6. Zumba
7. Genie Bra
8. Wen Hair Care
9. Cindy Crawford’s Meaningful Beauty
10. Sensa Weight Loss System

Hm.  That list looks suspiciously like the As Seen on TV products in our Spring Fever Series.

I’ve been thinking a lot about fitness lately (as evidenced by my post on the torturous Jillian Michaels DVD), and I’ve also been thinking a lot about wrinkles.  Let’s face it: I’m not getting any younger, and neither are you.  Lucky for us, the airwaves are rife with exercise equipment infomercials and as seen on TV anti-aging solutions.

Unfortunately,  those seen on television innovations include contraptions like this:

The Facial Flex looks both uncomfortable and ridiculous, but then again . . . those two words pretty much sum up how I look doing any type of exercise, so I don’t know why I would think facial exercise should be any different.  I’m a little skeptical that something that causes me to make facial contortions would also cause me to “feel it in my bra line,” but maybe that’s just me.

The QVC hostess asks, “If your New Year’s resolution is to look younger, why aren’t you working out your face?”  Why, indeed.

Typical anti-aging regimens include creams, serums, and magic potions, but facial exercise could be an alternative.   Just look what six weeks* with the Facial Flex can do:

Before

After

Doesn’t she look younger already?

*These claims are completely unfounded and wildly untrue.