Of course, money does not, in fact, grow on trees, so I have really worked to curb my impulse spending.  Instead buying the things that I oh-my-goodness-have-to-have-now, I have started keeping a mental As Seen On TV wishlist.  Here are some of my top picks on infomercial products that I desperately want (and will only be able to refrain from buying for so long):

1. The Instyler – Smooth, shiny, and bouncy hair?  Eliminate frizzies in less time?  Straight hair that isn’t smashed flat and limp?  Using one tool to curl or straighten?  Who wouldn’t love this?!  Sign me up.
2. The Flex Mini – Okay, seriously.  A butt workout without working out.  A lunge-free and squat-free way to get firm thighs and rounded glutes.  It’s on.
3. Big Top Cupcake – I don’t honestly know why I want this so badly.  I just do.  I think it would be fun to make these for my son’s birthday parties.  Or maybe it’s just the idea of a ginormous cupcake sounds so heavenly.
4. Luminess Airbrush Tan – I was raised in the era of the “healthy glow” by a mother who ingrained in me that “tan fat looks better than white fat,” but am now forced to face the facts about the sun’s damaging properties.  With an airbrush tan, maybe I could have that sunkissed look I love without those pesky wrinkles and melanoma.
5. Gyro Bowl – I have a toddler.  End of story.

Of course, this is an incomplete list of Stuff I Want.  I pretty much want every Beachbody exercise DVD program and all of the plants that let me grow my own cherries/blueberries/peppers/insert-produce-here at home.  As long as I’m doing this, I know my As Seen On TV wishlist will continue to grow like grass on a Canada Green lawn.

On a side note, a few of the products to which I’ve already succumbed include Strap Perfect, Kangaroo Keeper, Emery Cat, Snuggie, and Bare Lifts–all of which have been well worth it!

What’s on your infomercial wishlist?

You know, the idea behind Snuggie is not new.  In fact, there is another blanket with sleeves called the Slanket.  Now, I ask you:  which would you rather cuddle up with?  A Snuggie (insert cozy, warm, cuddly images here) or a Slanket (“Marv!  Call the plumber!  The drain is backed up and there’s slanket all over the floors!”).  The Snuggie has become a smash hit in the world of blankets and in the world of infomercial products in general.  I think it has a lot to do with the name.

A name can make or break a product.  Here I am going to give you a list of some of the most poorly named infomercial products available.  These names are so ill-conceived that I can’t even comprehend the strategy behind them.  In fact, these names are so unspeakably bad that I’m going to refrain from making my usual snarky comments and just let these horrible product names speak for themselves.

• Catch It:  A litter box product designed to help scoop the kitty business from the litter.  Go ahead.  Say it out loud and think about the product.  You’ll get it.
• Nads:  An all-natural hair removal product supposedly named for its creator’s daughter.
• Magic Bullet:  It’s a blender.  Duh.
• Rack Trap:  I guess this is exactly what it says it is.  It’s a little pocket you put inside your bra.  That’s an even worse name than The Hooter Hider nursing cover.

Last but certainly not least on my horribly named products list is . . . well, I’ll just let you see the infomercial that was really, truly, honest-to-goodness seen on TV:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gw1g2yKxb0I

That’s T-I-D-D-Y.  Can you even imagine the product proposal meeting where that name was chosen?  I mean, what names did they turn down, for the love of Pete?!

It just makes my brain hurt.

If you haven’t seen the infomercial for this one, the narrated talking dog is just a bit odd – almost makes it hard to take the product seriously. But really, it’s a great idea at an affordable price. I remember as a kid hating to clean out the wet newspapers when we kept our dog in the garage. These indoor dog potty patch products have got to be better than that.