One of the most common New Year’s Resolutions is to lose weight.  Combining post-holiday weight gain with the motivation to make a fresh start at the beginning of the year makes As Seen On TV exercise equipment a fantastic gift idea.   However, the best idea is to buy these items for yourself.  Buying any type of weight loss or exercise product for someone else is a risky endeavor–particularly if that someone else is your wife.  Here at SeenOnTV Express, we recommend only buying exercise equipment for your wife under the following circumstances:

1. She asked specifically for it.
2. When she opens it, you say things like, “I only got it because you wanted it.  I think you look amazing.  I’m still not sure why you want it.  I mean, you are GORGEOUS!!”
3. You also include a very sparkly, blingy gift that comes in a tiny box.
4. You never, ever, EVER ask her if she is using it or why she isn’t.
5. Add a little more effusive praise of her beauty here.

Last week, we talked about how to achieve a slimmer silhouette–or at least make your pants fit comfortably–after packing on holiday pounds.  This week, we’ll segue from disguise to transformation by looking at infomercial toning products that make stimulating the muscles effortless.  Electronic Muscle Stimulation, or EMS, is an FDA-cleared method of toning muscles that has long been used for physical therapy in medical settings.  Now, EMS is becoming a leader in muscle toning for fitness at home.  To use an EMS ab toning belt or other electronic muscle stimulator, you simply put on the device, turn on the device, and let the electronic current go to work  contracting and stimulating your muscles.

Among the top selling As Seen On TV ab belts and electronic muscle stimulators:

• The Flex Belt Ab Belt for toning the abdominal muscles
• The Flex Mini for tightening the hips, thighs, and buttocks
• The Sport Elec Ab Belt for tightening the abs

Using gentle electric impulses, these EMS toning devices stimulate the muscles to contract and release, much as they would during dozens, even hundreds, of exercises such as crunches and sit ups for the abs or squats and lunged for the butt, hips, and thighs.  In the case of the Flex Mini, the device can even be worn discretely under clothes for anytime toning without a workout.

Remember, As Seen On TV exercise equipment is a gift best bought for oneself–get started using yours now to prevent holiday pounds and to kick off your New Year’s Resolution right.  If buying exercise equipment for a loved one, do so only if it is requested and only if you are prepared to spend the next five years telling her that you did NOT call her fat!

Thanksgiving is a time where we all take a minute to focus on the things for which we are grateful.  For many Americans, a minute is all the gratitude gets, and then focus turns to the gigantic smorgasbord of delectable holiday dishes spread before them.

Speaking of “spread,” that’s exactly what begins to happen to one’s softer body parts . . . belly, thighs, butt . . . after all of this Thanksgiving indulgence.  With Christmas just around the corner, though, a lot of people don’t want to put the time or effort into dieting or losing weight until the start of the New Year.   I mean, why try to fight all the temptation, right?  The siren song of the pie is far too strong.

Luckily, there are temporary solutions to the post-Thanksgiving weight gain that can keep you looking great at holiday parties, even as you graze the hors d’oeuvres table or add an extra dollop of whipped cream to your second–or third–slice of pie.  As Seen on TV shapewear promises to comfortably smooth your bulges, firm you flab, and hide your muffin top while you enjoy breakfast muffins.

Here are a few of my favorites:

• Slim N Lift Supreme Comfort Body Shaper – slims from the bustline to the knee for smooth, bulge-free back, waist, hips, and thighs
• Kymaro Body Shaper – includes both cami and shorts, worn separately or together, for shapely support when and where you need it
• Curve Control Jeans – stylish jeans that flatten the stomach, lift the buttocks, and slim and trim the hips and thighs, flattering all body types

Of course, these products are designed to help you look better–they are designed to fit comfortably while giving a slimmer appearance.  Sometimes, though, you just want comfort.  Maybe you want your favorite jeans to fit like they did before Thanksgiving.  Maybe you want to hang out in your pajamas all day–or just feel like you are.  There are As Seen On TV products that fit the bill for those needs as well:

• Perfect Fit Button – designed to adjust the waistband of any pants.  Extend the waist after Thanksgiving, then take it in after your New Year’s Resolution to lose weight kicks in.
• Pajama Jeans – look like jeans but fit like cozy pajama pants.  Throw them on in the morning and you don’t have to worry about changing into suitable clothes when you run out for errands.
• Forever Lazy – If you know you’ll be staying in, spend your day in this super-soft fleece adult onesie.  No binding snaps, straps, buckles, zippers, or waistbands.  Just pure comfort all day long.

With As Seen on TV shapewear and loungewear, you can look great and feel great.  But order yours now.  We won’t take it easy on you for long.  Coming soon:  As Seen on TV fitness products to get your body back in shape once your holiday excuses are gone.

As Seen on TV Best Sellers

Infomercial products are designed to fill a need, solve a problem, minimize an annoyance.  The inventors of these As Seen on TV product innovations have an uncanny ability to find television viewers’ biggest pet peeves and market a solution.  Describing the invention of the Snuggie, one infomercial product review website noted,  “One day a guy put on his robe backwards and said, ‘I want a Porsche.’”  With over 20 million Snuggies sold in 2009 alone . . . well, that’s a lot of Porsches.

When an infomercial hits big, it REALLY hits big.  According to several sources, the television infomercial business, or Direct Response Television (DRTV) marketing, is a $300 billion dollar industry.  Forbes.com cites Remy Stern, author of But Wait . . . There’s More, in saying that the direct response marketing industry is “larger than the film, music and video game industries combined.”  So in an arena filled with failed ideas, which As Seen on TV products are generating the most revenue?

Top Ten Infomercial Products and As Seen on TV Products

A Forbes.com article released by ABC News reveals the ten most successful television infomercial products as determined by California-based research firm Jordan Whitney.  This list is based on sales figures from Nov. 2009 to Nov. 2010:

1. Bowflex Home Gym
2. Carleton Sheets Real Estate Tutorial
3. Proactiv Solution Acne Treatment
4. Ronco Showtime Rotisserie Pro Electric Rotisserie Oven
5. Sharper Image Ionic Breeze Air Purifier
6. The Firm Bodybuilding Fitness Videos
7. Walk Away the Pounds for Abs Weight Loss System
8. Gazelle Freestyle Home Exercise Equipment
9. Total Gym Challenge Home Gym
10. Foodsaver Food Vacuum Packaging Machine

Though this list provides the most successful products for last year, the As Seen on TV best sellers are constantly evolving.  In fact, infomercial researchers at Jordan Whitney also list weekly top sellers.  Last week’s best selling As Seen on TV products included mostly fitness and personal care products:

1. P90X
2. Insanity
3. No!No! Hair
4. Six Week Body Makeover
5. Turbo Fire
6. Zumba
7. Genie Bra
8. Wen Hair Care
9. Cindy Crawford’s Meaningful Beauty
10. Sensa Weight Loss System

Hm.  That list looks suspiciously like the As Seen on TV products in our Spring Fever Series.

I’m not sure what I ever did to cause “Television’s Toughest Trainer,” Jillian Michaels, to rain down her wrath upon me.  Maybe it was the doughnuts.  Or my insatiable love of cheese.  Whatever it is, Jillian’s tough love approach is . . . well, tough.

I’ve been writing a lot on the SeenOnTV Express blog about how we all feel the impending bathing suit season approaching.  We have a choice of how we greet the body-baring summer.  We can either whip ourselves into shape through a vigorous and renewed workout regimen, or we can throw our hands into the air in resignation and throw our ample behinds on the couch.

Personally, I tend toward the second approach.

This year, though, I’ve had the luck (?) to greet the summer about 25 pounds lighter than last summer, through a top secret weight loss plan.  You, my readers, are going to get the secret of my success–stress.  I used to mock people who said they were “too busy to eat,” or “forgot to eat,” but now I’m one of those people.  And while the Stress Diet* is highly effective at shedding the pounds, it is also highly effective at shedding the muscle.

*The Stress Diet can also have the opposite effect on some individuals, causing marathon doughnut and pizza eating sessions–not necessarily simultaneously, but maybe.  Or so I’ve heard.

While I’m excited to actually fit into my bathing suits, I am a little disappointed at the complete lack of muscle tone, and the complete non-lack of cellulite that accompanies it.  Yes, folks–I have become the dreaded “skinny fat” (which I prefer to being “fat fat,” but still.)

Enter Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred.

Now, Jillian has a whole diet and fitness website whose ads you may have seen on TV.  The program at JillianMichaels.com is geared as a weight loss program, and I’m not currently looking to lose weight (it’s even weird to say that), so I didn’t really want to go that route.  I do, however, know that I have a limited amount of time in which to work out, and that if I want any results, I need to maximize that time.  Jillian Michaels has a reputation for tough workouts, and each workout in the 30 Day Shred DVD is approximately 24 minutes, including warm-up and cool-down.  I figure even someone who “doesn’t have time to eat” can manage to squeeze this workout in.

I was a little concerned that such a short workout wouldn’t seem effective, but, man alive, was I wrong.

Each workout on the 30-Day Shred is comprised of a 2 minute warm up, followed by 3 circuits, followed by a 2 minute cool down.  Each circuit is based on Jillian Michaels 3-2-1 training system:  3 minutes of strength, two minutes of cardio, 1 minute of abs.

The strength portion consists of one single-muscle group exercise (for example, pushups) and one compound exercise (for example, squats with shoulder presses).  You might think 3 minutes of that doesn’t sound so bad, but it was all I could do to finish out each strength portion of the circuits.

Next up is two minutes of cardio.  Jillian prefers old-school cardio like jumping jacks and butt-kicks.  This works out well for me, because I suffer from what you might call a Lack of Coordination.  Fancy grapevine steps or anything remotely resembling a dance move will cause me to trip and possibly damage an integral body part.  Plus, this boot-camp style cardio is very effective.

Finally, you endure one terrible minute of abs.  The great thing about ab work is that you get to lie on the floor.  Trust me–after only 5 minutes of Jillian’s 3-2-1 combination, you will be ready to flop onto the floor.  The problem is that once you are done, she makes you get back up for two more 3-2-1 circuits.

I am an astounding 3 days into my 30-Day Shred, and I can tell you that every place where a muscle should be HURTS.  I need a geriatric handrail just to lower my aching quads so I can use the bathroom.  Pure.  Torture.

And I love it.

Less than half an hour, and I’m done.

I really do believe that in 30 days, this will make a significant change in my physique, or at least in the ratio of muscle:squishiness.

As for now, my squish hurts.  Check back with SeenOnTV Express in 30 27 days to find out if I still feel the same when I’ve finished my 30-Day Shred.  Maybe by then I’ll be ready to double my efforts and take on Rip:60.

AP/Ariel Hankin

Fairwell to Fitness Legend Jack LaLanne

The legendary fitness guru who once joked, “”I can’t afford to die. It would wreck my image,” recently passed away at the age of 96.  On Sunday, January 23, 2011, wellness expert Jack LaLanne died of respiratory failure as a result of pneumonia.  LaLanne was a leader in promoting and popularizing fitness and wellness,  and is credited by numerous celebrities as the reason they adopted a fit, healthy lifestyle.

LaLanne used his enthusiasm and his understanding of wellness to encourage others and to bring exercise out of the gym and into the living rooms of the common man--and woman--as early as the 1950′s.  Jack LaLanne said, “The only way you can hurt the body is not use it. Inactivity is the killer and, remember, it’s never too late.”  The unassuming man proved this time and again through feats of strength and fitness that would amaze his audience and help spread his message.   According to an Associated Press obituary listed on Yahoo! News, LaLanne performed 1,000 pushups in 23 minutes on the show You Asked For It--at the age of 43.  When he was 60, he swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco.  If successfully swimming more than a mile through the choppy, frigid water (seasonal temperatures in the Bay range from 46-73 degrees) weren’t enough, LaLanne swam “handcuffed, shackled, and towing a boat.”

Jack LaLanne -- it takes more than exercise

LaLanne’s message of health did not end with the importance of exercise.  He was a proponent of natural nutrition, focused on whole grains, lean protein, and fresh fruits and vegetables.  In fact, he made getting vital nutrients easier with the Jack LaLanne Power Juicer, one of the most successful infomercial products available.

Finally, LaLanne focused on total mind-body wellness, illustrating the power of optimism and the role of exercise and nutrition on improving one’s emotional outlook:

When asked about his intensive daily workout routine and how long he planned to keep it up, Jack LaLanne replied, “”How long are you going to keep breathing? How long do you keep eating? You just do it.”

He is survived by his wife of 51 years, Elaine LaLanne, and his three children, Dan, Jon, and Yvonne.

Jack LaLanne -- you will be missed.

Today’s workouts for men are all about working hard and getting ripped.   The hottest--and hardest--workouts include boot camp workouts, P90x, and Insanity.  The infomercials for these video exercise programs show men dripping with sweat, groaning in agony, and pushing themselves to the limit in order to get the lean, muscular, rippling body I enjoy ogling they want.

But things were not always so difficult for all of these poor men in pursuit of fitness.  Enter the manliest man of them all--Richard Simmons.  Our dear Richard is generally known for cavorting around with the ladies, dancing with them on stage in malls all across America, giving them the confidence to be seen in public “Sweatin’ to the Oldies.”  But Richard knew that men were not immune to the perils of low self-esteem from a less than stellar body.  Because a full THIRTY FIVE PERCENT of his letters come from men, he decided to create a program to help these poor men achieve weight loss results without resorting to grueling, painful workouts.

Enter “Farewell to Fat.”  Today’s seen on TV workout videos are all about feeling the burn and taking your workout to the extreme, and the titles prove it.  TurboFire and Chalean Extreme are only two examples that showwomen aren’t immune to this phenomenon of working out until you drop.  But with Farewell to Fat, the title reflects the softer side of working out.  You can practically see Richard’s wrist a-fluttering as he waves buh-bye to that unwelcome fat.  “Toodle-oo and farewell, fat, old friend!”

With Farewell to Fat, Richard Simmons invited men into his world of booty-shakin’ workouts.  Mall stages weren’t just for women anymore:

Richard Simmons:  The Great Equalizer

(I can’t let this post go without drawing your attention to the spectacular molestache at 0:58.)

For a very special, post-holiday version of Way Back Wednesday, we’re going all the way back to last week to look closely at the perils of Thanksgiving.  While you may think that scorched sweet potatoes or being forced to endure Great Aunt Tillie’s Mystery Jello Mold may rank among the greatest dangers of Thanksgiving, such thoughts are woefully misguided.  Oh, no, my friend--the hazards are much, much more horrifying.

Enter Exhibit A:

Photo credit: ehow.com

Fortunately, until your As Seen on TV exercise videos and infomercial fitness equipment kick in, there’s the Perfect Fit Button, which our unfortunate Thanksgiving victim above clearly needs.  With the Perfect Fit Button, he could adjust his waistband to give him a little extra breathing room until January when he resolves to lose that spare tire, instead of simply walking around with his pants open like some kind of Thanksgiving pervert.  (Uncle Bill, take note.)

What’s that you say?  Gaining a few holiday pounds is not a true danger?  Well, tell that to your cardiologist, and then take a look at this holiday horror--the exploding deep fried turkey:

Strangely, this phenomenon is so common, there are even Public Service Announcements warning people against deep frying a turkey.  The number of videos of people setting their holiday meal on fire (not to mention their eyebrows) is staggering.  Luckily, there is an infomercial cooking product to save the day and keep you from looking like this in all of your family holiday photos:

From NBC's Seinfeld

The Butterball Indoor Electric Turkey Fryer is safe enough to use on your kitchen countertop, with a fill-line to keep you from overfilling your grease, which, in a traditional turkey fryer would spill over the top and onto the open flame below, thus incinerating your backyard.  Also, the Butterball Turkey Fryer has a heating element that submerges into the unit, rather using an actual fire. Thanks to Butterball, you no longer have to try to stretch your holiday meal, sans turkey, to feed the entire fire department in addition to your passel of relations--including Aunt Tillie and Uncle Bill.

I have a cake baking in the oven (unfortunately, not a Big Top Cupcake), and it smells amazing.  There’s just nothing like the smell of freshly baked cakes, cookies, or bread.  In fact, just smelling the cake--which I’m not even going to get to eat--is making me hungry.  If I had this week’s Way Back Wednesday product handy, though, I’d be all set.

AromaTrim is weight loss product designed to help prevent its users from eating, literally stopping them mid-chew, before they could eat too much.  As the infomercial shows, all these people had to do to prevent overeating was just sniff the AromaTrim, a little piece of plastic with an undefined “herbal” odor:

Finish the brownie?  No way.  Eat three or four giant cookies? Uh-uh.  Gobble down a vat-sized cone of french fries?  Puh-lease.  Apparently, AromaTrim “changes the taste” of food through its “herbal” odor.  I’d be curious to know what kind of herb these people were inhaling . . . er, sniffing.  Stinkweed perhaps?

Regardless, I’m going to assume that it must smell pretty awful to keep Biggie there from his fries.

Strangely, AromaTrim came in two different scents--one designed to control cravings and the other designed to suppress hunger.  If it makes your food taste like swamp water, does it really matter which scent you choose?  For that matter, couldn’t you just sniff the gym sock of an overweight 7th grader?  Actually, according to AromaTrim, the special “herbal” blend scrambles your brain’s hunger signals (that’s what I’ve heard about certain “herbs”), and doesn’t merely mask the taste of the food with a truly horrendous stench.

The television airwaves are filled with infomercial weight loss products.  From “diet foods” such as Smart for Life Diet Cookies to supplements like Formula 9, SBL, and Emagrece Sim, there are a number of products designed to help you lose weight without having to resort to sniffing some unimaginable funk, replacing your hunger with nausea and repulsion.  Wouldn’t you rather take a diet supplement or eat a cookie?

Speaking of cookies, there’s the timer on my cake.  There’s no way I’d do anything to kill that smell.  Mmmmm . . .

Mixed Martial Arts, or MMA, has become really big news in recent years.  The UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) has come a long way from its early beginnings when it was misunderstood and compared with bare knuckle, no-holds-barred brawls.  As people begin to understand the true martial arts and wrestling roots of MMA, however, the sport has enjoyed increasing popularity.  This phenomenon spawned MMA-inspired apparel created by Tap Out, RVCA, and Affliction.  Once found only through online MMA specialty shops, you can now find these t-shirts in any mall.  The UFC, once condemned as a brutal sport of barroom brawlers, has launched its highly-trained fighters into household names.  In fact, The SciMark Report indicates that MMA has inspired a new trend in fitness equipment.  Acclaimed mixed martial artists and UFC fighters Randy Couture, Rich Franklin, and Bas Ruten are all currently endorsing infomercial fitness equipment.

So what does all of this have to do with Way Back Wednesday?  As a huge MMA fan, I am really interested in the unprecedented growth of this sport.  With so many MMA standouts selling exercise equipment through television marketing, I started thinking about the beginnings of martial arts as an infomercial fitness phenomenon.

One of the first martial-arts inspired fitness trends seen on TV was Tae Bo, marketed by fitness guru Billy Blanks.  Designed as a blend of Tae Kwon Do, boxing, and aerobics, Tae Bo launched a cardio kickboxing craze.  Even after the success of the initial Tae Bo series in the late 1990′s, Tae Bo continued to evolve, with Billy Blanks expanding the series to include Amped, T3, and Boot Camp videos and DVDs.   Take a look at this clip from the original Tae Bo Basic video:

Now, I’ll admit that I was an owner of this original series, and these exercise videos did, in fact, work really well.  The major drawback was that I felt like I had to constantly avert my eyes from Billy Blanks’s barely covered chest (I think it was cold in that studio) and from his embarrassingly tight, shiny pants.  That’s more information about Billy Blanks than I need.

The martial arts inspiration continued with everyone’s favorite roundhouse kickin’  Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris, and his Total Gym.  Even Tony Horton’s P90x includes a martial arts element through its Kenpo X routine.  As the pure martial arts evolve into the highly popular mixed martial arts, Randy Couture, UFC Hall of Famer and repeat champion in two weight classes, comes on the scene with the Tower 200.  Touted as “The Ultimate Workout,” the Tower 200 attaches itself to the fame of the Ultimate Fighting Championship and its most prized fighter.

As MMA continues to grow, I’ll be interested to see how its popularity further impacts fitness trends.

Virtually everyone I know is looking for an easy way to lose weight and burn fat--without diet, without exercise, and without effort.  For years, gimmicks have been around trying to convince people of the next weight loss breakthrough.  In 1984, that “miracle pill” was Grapefruit 45, a supposed weight-loss pill with the fat-burning power of grapefruit.  Get a load of this wooden acting:

Now, the seen on tv marketers of Grapefruit 45 at least try to inject some honesty into their inflated claims.  For example, after crushing a grapefruit in his fist, the mustachioed spokesman says, “I know a lot of you believe grapefruit burns fat.”  Notice he doesn’t tell the viewers that grapefruit does burn fat; he just says some suckers believe it.   Also note the disclaimer:  “‘Fat Burn’ perception scientifically unsubstantiated.”

I guess these disclaimers give the marketers license to make wild claims like, “I lost 9 pounds the first week,” and, “I already lost 24 pounds, and I never get hungry.”  And of course there’s the lady who used to eat a grapefruit for lunch but now just pops a Grapefruit 45 and eats “delicious foods” and still loses weight.

Today, buyers are much more savvy.  While millions of people are looking for an easy, rapid weight loss approach, most of them know better than to look at a product whose claims of effectiveness are based solely on people’s perceptions.  People are looking for weight loss supplement with ingredients clinically proven to help one lose weight.  Modern seen on TV products such as SBL Lean, Formula 9, and Emagrece Sim combine ingredients designed to boost metabolism and curb appetite.  These new products appeal to our desire for rapid results as well as our knowledge that claims of effectiveness need to be based on scientific fact, not just on the beliefs of the masses.

All that typing made me hungry.  I wonder if there’s a grapefruit around here anywhere . . .