Two events converged to inspire today’s post about amazing, drool-worthy abs and how to get them.

The first event?  The upcoming release of Magic Mike, featuring Matthew McConaughey, Channing Tatum, Joe Manganiello, Alex Pettyfer and Matt Bomer . . . shirtless:

Sweet fancy Moses. Someone get mama a fan.

The second event was the arrival of this little gem in my email inbox:

Oh, honey, no.

After thoroughly rinsing my eyes with battery acid to clear the second image from my retinas, I did a little research and determined that the Ab-hancer is not, in fact, a real As Seen On TV product, but rather a spoof.  Even though it is a fake, the idea of trying to look like you have great abs without actually working for great abs is nothing new.  I have even heard of using sunless tanning lotion to create “shadows” that give the illusion of six-pack abs on an otherwise toneless belly.  Unfortunately, not everyone is going to have abs like Matthew McConaughey and Channing Tatum–seriously, it is unfortunate.   While some people have the dedication and stamina to work hard to get those gleaming, chiseled, glorious abs (I’m sorry–did I get carried away?), not everyone has the time or the desire to put in that kind of effort.

Because I want every man to have the opportunity to look like Magic Mike–oh, believe me, I do–today’s Seen On TV Express blog post is going to bring you three different types of As Seen On TV ab sculpting products.  You select your level of intensity from zero to P90X and choose the infomercial product that best works for you.

Intensity Level:  ”Can someone bring me a doughnut and a beer?”

• Slim T
• IAS Instaslim Garments

Instaslim and Slim Ts are body shaping garments that can make  you look up to two sizes smaller without diet or exercise.  While the results are temporary, and you certainly can’t whip off your shirt, wave it around your head, and slide down a fireman pole into the waiting arms of hundreds of screaming women vying for the opportunity to tuck dollar bills in your waistband, Slim T or Instaslim can give you the confidence that comes from looking better in your clothes.

Intensity Level:  Not Quite Shocking

• Flex Belt
• Contour Abs
• Sport Elec Ab Belt

Electronic Muscle Stimulation (EMS) is FDA-cleared and shown to be effective in helping to strengthen and build muscles without a lot of concerted effort on your part.  Electronic ab belts work by contracting the abdominal muscles through electronic impulses, allowing your to flex and contract each muscle numerous times in a single session.  Some of these devices are discreet enough to wear under clothing so you can firm and tighten your abdominals as you go about your daily routine.

Intensity Level:  ”Work All Day.  Work It All Night.”

• Ab Rocket Twister
• Ab Glider
• Insanity
• P90X
• P90X2

If you want the moves like Jagger . . . or in this case, like Magic Mike and his glistening, sculpted cohorts . . . you are going to have to work it.  Intense fat burning moves and a clean diet are critical in creating a lean, chiseled core featuring rock hard abs.  Abdominal exercise equipment like the AbRocket and the Ab Glider can give you targeted moves for tightening the abs, but the aggressive, high-intensity training available from Beachbody’s Insanity, P90X, and P90X2 allow for total body fat burning and muscle sculpting that can transform your physique.

Whether you want to show up at your reunion with the confidence that comes from looking better in your clothes, or whether you want to show up with a physique that makes your class homecoming queen fall over in a dead faint, As Seen On TV products offer your perfect ab solution.

In the Way Back Wednesday Halloween post, I described the electrifying properties of Rejuvenique, and how it uses electronic impulses to stimulate the muscles of the face.  While the appearance of the Rejuvenique facial mask is somewhat disconcerting, its use of electronic impulses for muscle stimulation is a form of beauty and exercise technology that has been around for years and is a continuing method of firming, toning, and relaxing muscles.

A decade ago, electronic muscle stimulation (EMS) was used by the famous Dr. Ho in his namesake Dr. Ho’s Muscle Massager.  This device looks suspiciously like an EMS machine I once endured during a bout of physical therapy (I think I may need to call my HMO about this).  However, most viewers of the Dr. Ho infomercial–at least most male viewers–won’t notice a thing about how the Muscle Massager looks.  See, much like fellow infomercial host Tom Vu, Dr. Ho relied heavily on scantily clad women in need of electronic stimulation.  In fact, male viewers may have been so busy noticing the models that they may not have even realized that one bikini beauty exclaims, after sampling the Muscle Massager, that she no longer needs men:

Now, the use of electronic muscle stimulation can be hazardous to certain groups.  As Dr. Ho states in his disclaimer, these devices are “not to be used by pregnant women, people with pacemakers, or epileptics.”

Or by idiots:

Electronic muscle stimulation (EMS) is a valid technology, however.  Remember, I mentioned earlier that EMS was used in physical therapy, and regardless of my joke about checking with my HMO to see if Dr. Ho is on my preferred provider list, the EMS is one of the reasons I’m not hobbling around like a geriatric at the age of . . . um . . . never mind.

Some modern electronic muscle stimulators that can be seen on TV include several that are used for strengthening and tightening the muscles of the abs.  Absonic, Abtronic, and the Contour Ab Belt have been among the more popular electronic ab stimulators seen on television infomercials.

The latest development in electronic stomach toning medical technology is the Flex Belt.  The FlexBelt ab belt has been clinically tested and proven to stimulate the abdominal muscles up to 150 times per thirty minute session.  Most importantly, the Flex Belt is the only EMS device to be cleared by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) as a Class II Medical Device to be sold directly to the consumer.  Take that, HMO.

I’ve just updated the site with quite a few new diet and fitness products to add to our list of existing products to help you lose weight and get in shape.  If dropping pounds or improving your fitness is one of your New Years Resolutions, now is the time to order the products you want to help you achieve those goals.  Here is some of the hottest selling exercise equipment  we’ve had available on our site:

• Ab Circle
• The Contour Ab Belt
• Slendertone System Abs
• Ab Rocket
• Iso7X

And here’s what’s new:

• UltraRez [RezV1000]
• Transform12
• IsoBo
• BodiPro
• BodiRocker
• Exerspy

Juicing has also been a popular category with diet and fitness consumers over the past several years, and we have a couple of new juicers to offer, including the Sharper Image Super Juicer and the Living Well Healthmaster Fruit and Vegetable Emulsifier.

We’ve just added 2 new pieces of exercise equipment to our listings – the BodiPro and BodiRocker. I believe both of these were released during the summer, but are now starting to get more media time.

The BodiRocker puts a twist on push-ups, literally. The BodiPro appears to offer more of a full body workout in a fairly compact piece of equipment. I expect these will be fairly successful products, especially when the new year rolls around – which is a very hot selling period for fitness equipment for obvious reasons. Other fitness products that have been selling well lately include the Ab Circle, Contour Abs, ISO7X and the Slendertone Ab Belt.