Two events converged to inspire today’s post about amazing, drool-worthy abs and how to get them.

The first event?  The upcoming release of Magic Mike, featuring Matthew McConaughey, Channing Tatum, Joe Manganiello, Alex Pettyfer and Matt Bomer . . . shirtless:

Sweet fancy Moses. Someone get mama a fan.

The second event was the arrival of this little gem in my email inbox:

Oh, honey, no.

After thoroughly rinsing my eyes with battery acid to clear the second image from my retinas, I did a little research and determined that the Ab-hancer is not, in fact, a real As Seen On TV product, but rather a spoof.  Even though it is a fake, the idea of trying to look like you have great abs without actually working for great abs is nothing new.  I have even heard of using sunless tanning lotion to create “shadows” that give the illusion of six-pack abs on an otherwise toneless belly.  Unfortunately, not everyone is going to have abs like Matthew McConaughey and Channing Tatum–seriously, it is unfortunate.   While some people have the dedication and stamina to work hard to get those gleaming, chiseled, glorious abs (I’m sorry–did I get carried away?), not everyone has the time or the desire to put in that kind of effort.

Because I want every man to have the opportunity to look like Magic Mike–oh, believe me, I do–today’s Seen On TV Express blog post is going to bring you three different types of As Seen On TV ab sculpting products.  You select your level of intensity from zero to P90X and choose the infomercial product that best works for you.

Intensity Level:  ”Can someone bring me a doughnut and a beer?”

• Slim T
• IAS Instaslim Garments

Instaslim and Slim Ts are body shaping garments that can make  you look up to two sizes smaller without diet or exercise.  While the results are temporary, and you certainly can’t whip off your shirt, wave it around your head, and slide down a fireman pole into the waiting arms of hundreds of screaming women vying for the opportunity to tuck dollar bills in your waistband, Slim T or Instaslim can give you the confidence that comes from looking better in your clothes.

Intensity Level:  Not Quite Shocking

• Flex Belt
• Contour Abs
• Sport Elec Ab Belt

Electronic Muscle Stimulation (EMS) is FDA-cleared and shown to be effective in helping to strengthen and build muscles without a lot of concerted effort on your part.  Electronic ab belts work by contracting the abdominal muscles through electronic impulses, allowing your to flex and contract each muscle numerous times in a single session.  Some of these devices are discreet enough to wear under clothing so you can firm and tighten your abdominals as you go about your daily routine.

Intensity Level:  ”Work All Day.  Work It All Night.”

• Ab Rocket Twister
• Ab Glider
• Insanity
• P90X
• P90X2

If you want the moves like Jagger . . . or in this case, like Magic Mike and his glistening, sculpted cohorts . . . you are going to have to work it.  Intense fat burning moves and a clean diet are critical in creating a lean, chiseled core featuring rock hard abs.  Abdominal exercise equipment like the AbRocket and the Ab Glider can give you targeted moves for tightening the abs, but the aggressive, high-intensity training available from Beachbody’s Insanity, P90X, and P90X2 allow for total body fat burning and muscle sculpting that can transform your physique.

Whether you want to show up at your reunion with the confidence that comes from looking better in your clothes, or whether you want to show up with a physique that makes your class homecoming queen fall over in a dead faint, As Seen On TV products offer your perfect ab solution.

When making any purchasing decision, it is important to remember the wise ol’ Latin words caveat emptor–or, as we say in non-dead languages, “Let the buyer beware.”  As Seen On TV products can do amazing things, solving life’s most frustrating problems.  But whenever buying a product–whether from an infomercial, online vendor, or brick-and-mortar store–savvy shoppers evaluate the claims made by that product and keep in mind the adage, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”  This is often especially true of supplements making bold weight loss claims.

Celebrity endorsers for one such product are now under the gun through a $5 million class action lawsuit alleging they made “false, misleading, and unsubstantiated claims” regarding the product’s effectiveness.  Three of the famous Kardashian sisters, Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe, have been named in a suit alleging that they mislead consumers about QuickTrim diet pills.  Kim Kardashian, one of the spokesmodels for QuickTrim claimed that she lost fifteen pounds using the weight loss pills and that she was using them to get in shape for her short-lived wedding.

The lawsuit, however, claims that Kardashian’s statements are false.  The lawsuit reports that the key ingredient in QuickTrim, caffeine, is not an effective weight loss drug.  The suit cites the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in saying that caffeine is neither safe nor effective for weight loss.  Plaintiffs say that they bought the popular As Seen On TV weight loss aid based solely on the Kardashians’ claims that they were able to lose weight and maintain their celebrity physiques with QuickTrim.

Perhaps these emptors would have been wise to caveat.  Before buying the product on the word of a celebrity, they could have also checked the active ingredients in the product and evaluated the effectiveness based on clinical research and FDA guidelines.

For many people, the lure of quick results is just too great to resist.

However, people looking for real, sustained weight loss and body transformation can find healthy solutions through As Seen On TV fitness products like P90X , P90X2, and Shaun T’s Insanity.  These and many other Beachbody products combine rigorous, effective workout programs with healthy, balanced diet plans.  Whether we like it or not, the only real way to achieve real results is through a healthy diet and exercise.

Of course, those looking for instant gratification aren’t left entirely in the cold.  If you do not care whether you actually are slimmer, and you just want to look slimmer, or if you have a big event coming up and don’t have time to physically achieve the results you want, As Seen On TV shapewear comes to the rescue.  Slim T and the Slim Away belt are designed to help men hold in that spare tire, while the Kymaro Body Shaper smooths women’s back bulges and muffin tops.  You may not have time to lose ten pounds before your reunion/wedding/insert-dramtic-event-here, but with infomercial shaping garments, you can look like you did.

And you can do it in less time than it takes a Kardashian to file for divorce.

We’ve talked recently on the SeenOnTV Express blog about ways to look slimmer with no effort (Kymaro Body Shaper for women and Slim T for men) and ways to improve muscle tone with little effort (Flex Belt and Flex Mini).  Though there are many As Seen On TV exercise videos and equipment that are low-impact and moderate intensity, perhaps the hottest selling infomercial exercise videos are the extreme workout routines from Beachbody.

Among the best selling Beachbody videos are Insanity with Shaun T. and Tony Horton’s P90X.  Recently, Shaun T. released a new version of his popular Insanity workout entitled The Asylum, a thirty-day sports training workout.  Now, Tony Horton and Beachbody are expanding their offerings for die-hard P90X fans with the release of P90X2.

P90X2 is more than just a new set of workouts to replace P90X; it is designed to build on the successful transformation of those who have completed P90X by increasing agility and athleticism.  P90X was created to transform bodies into the best shape of their lives, replacing fat with muscle through a technique of Muscle Confusion.  P90X2 continues with Muscle Confusion but also incorporates Post-Activation Potentiation (P.A.P.), a groundbreaking exercise technique based on two additional years of research and development by the fitness experts and sports scientists at Beachbody.

P.A.P. essentially combines heavy strength training with plyometric exercise to engage more muscles during and after a workout.  This explosive combination increases stamina, agility, core strength, and overall athleticism.  P90X2 is not designed as a replacement for the original P90X; it is not simply more of the same.  Rather, P90X2 takes fitness to the next level.

In this video, Tony Horton explains the difference between the original P90X and the all new P90X2:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubc1AQwSi1k

Because the P90X2 workouts are completely new and different from the previous series, new equipment may be necessary.  When you order the P90X2 workout kit, you have your choice of three packages, depending on what equipment needs you may have:

• P90X2 Base Kit:  12 workout DVDs, 1 How to Bring It Again DVD, P90X2 Workout Guide, P90X2 Nutrition Guide, P90X Workout Calendar
• P90X2 Deluxe Kit:  everything included in the Base Kit plus a foam roller, two 8-pound medicine balls, a premium stability ball, and two additional extreme workouts:  V-Sculpt and Chest + Shoulders + Tris
• P90X2 Ultimate Kit:  everything included in the Deluxe Kit plus Tony Horton’s PowerStands

The twelve P90X2 workouts use strength training, plyometrics, yoga, and core strength exercises and routines based on Muscle Confusion, but they incorporate P.A.P. to take your workout beyond the original transformation of P90X and into increased athletic ability, stamina, strength, and agility.  P90X2 workouts include:

• X2 Core
• Plyocide
• X2 Recovery + Mobility
• X2 Total Body
• X2 Yoga
• X2 Balance + Power
• Chest + Back + Balance
• X2 Shoulders + Arms
• Base + Back
• P.A.P. Upper
• P.A.P Lower
• X2 Ab Ripper

Staff members at SeenOnTV Express who have used the original P90X saw phenomenal results with the original program and look to build on their efforts with the all new P90X2.

Look out now.  SeenOnTV Express is going to be too hot to handle and too fast to catch . . .

As the SeenOnTV Express blogger, I’m constantly being made aware of the newest, hottest As Seen On TV products.  While some of the products don’t necessarily appeal to me, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t frequently stumble across a product that I just have to have.  As Seen On TV beauty products, kitchen products, exercise equipment, fitness videos, and comfort items all make my list.  With the holidays just around the corner, I thought it would be a perfect time to share some of my favorite products–the ones I hope show up under my Christmas tree.  After all, Santa knows I’ve been very good this year.  Well–at least he knows I tried.

As Seen On TV Christmas List

• Forever Lazy – I’m not gonna lie.  This looks super cozy and comfortable.  For someone who works from home, this would be the perfect gift.  I may never wear actual clothes again.  At least until spring.
• Instyler – If I’m not mistaken, this made my list last year, but I didn’t find it in my stocking.  I think if I’m going to be spending my days in a giant, adult sized onesie, at least my hair should look good.
• Flex Seal – I know–household products shouldn’t really be on a Christmas list.  Next thing you know I’ll be asking for a blender.  But I really, really want to make a boat out of a screen door.
• Ninja Kitchen Blender – Yep.  I told you I’d be asking for a blender next.  I have a blender already.  It even has a food processing bowl.  But it is not this cool.  Not. At. All.
• Flex Mini – Seriously.  I can tone my butt without ever doing a single squat?  Sign me up.
• Any of the Beachbody videos - I don’t really like to work out, but I do really like to eat.  If I’m going to work out, I want it to be worth my time and energy.  I want it to feel like a workout, and I want results.  Beachbody workouts like P90x, Insantity, TurboFire, and Chalean Extreme are effective workouts for people who aren’t afraid to work hard to get results fast.

If I’ve been good enough this year, expect to see me in January, recovering from my Insanity workout by mixing up a healthy detox smoothie in my Ninja Kitchen Blender while wearing Forever Lazy and getting a workout boost from my Flex Mini.  And, gurrrl, my hair will look goooood.

As Seen on TV Best Sellers

Infomercial products are designed to fill a need, solve a problem, minimize an annoyance.  The inventors of these As Seen on TV product innovations have an uncanny ability to find television viewers’ biggest pet peeves and market a solution.  Describing the invention of the Snuggie, one infomercial product review website noted,  “One day a guy put on his robe backwards and said, ‘I want a Porsche.’”  With over 20 million Snuggies sold in 2009 alone . . . well, that’s a lot of Porsches.

When an infomercial hits big, it REALLY hits big.  According to several sources, the television infomercial business, or Direct Response Television (DRTV) marketing, is a $300 billion dollar industry.  Forbes.com cites Remy Stern, author of But Wait . . . There’s More, in saying that the direct response marketing industry is “larger than the film, music and video game industries combined.”  So in an arena filled with failed ideas, which As Seen on TV products are generating the most revenue?

Top Ten Infomercial Products and As Seen on TV Products

A Forbes.com article released by ABC News reveals the ten most successful television infomercial products as determined by California-based research firm Jordan Whitney.  This list is based on sales figures from Nov. 2009 to Nov. 2010:

1. Bowflex Home Gym
2. Carleton Sheets Real Estate Tutorial
3. Proactiv Solution Acne Treatment
4. Ronco Showtime Rotisserie Pro Electric Rotisserie Oven
5. Sharper Image Ionic Breeze Air Purifier
6. The Firm Bodybuilding Fitness Videos
7. Walk Away the Pounds for Abs Weight Loss System
8. Gazelle Freestyle Home Exercise Equipment
9. Total Gym Challenge Home Gym
10. Foodsaver Food Vacuum Packaging Machine

Though this list provides the most successful products for last year, the As Seen on TV best sellers are constantly evolving.  In fact, infomercial researchers at Jordan Whitney also list weekly top sellers.  Last week’s best selling As Seen on TV products included mostly fitness and personal care products:

1. P90X
2. Insanity
3. No!No! Hair
4. Six Week Body Makeover
5. Turbo Fire
6. Zumba
7. Genie Bra
8. Wen Hair Care
9. Cindy Crawford’s Meaningful Beauty
10. Sensa Weight Loss System

Hm.  That list looks suspiciously like the As Seen on TV products in our Spring Fever Series.

Smooth, tan, hairless legs?  Check.  Toned, shapely legs?  Mm . . . not so check.  As my get-ready-for-Spring plan develops, I’m now saddled with the part I like the least.  Working out.  Time to get a beach body before I have to actually hit the beach.  Or the kiddie pool in my back yard.  Whatever.

Now, I know that working out releases endorphins, improves energy, promotes cardiovascular health, boosts metabolism, builds muscle, and all that good stuff, but the truth is, well, I’m really pretty lazy.  Some people enjoy working out, some people work out for better health, but me?  I work out so I can eat cupcakes and still button my pants.  Of course, with as seen on TV products like the Big Top Cupcake,  I may have to step up the workouts a little more (or buy the Perfect Fit Button, whichever).

In the SeenOnTV Express neck of the woods, Spring Break will be here next week.  That means that it is just a matter of moments, practically, until I will be forced to publicly unveil my legs below the knee (even possibly *gasp* above the knee) and my batwing arms will be displayed for the world as the tank tops come out of storage.  Because of the rapidly impending fabulous weather, I need a fitness program that works and works fast.

This?  This ain’t going to cut it:

I mean, sure, I could cover my calves and ankles with leg warmers, put a thick leather belt on over my briefs to try to camouflage my waist, and divert the eye of the beholder with the sheer height of my hair, but that would be cheating, right?

(And oh-my-goodness, is that guy wearing spandex capris?!)

As much as I dislike working out, I hate working out ineffectively even more.  If I’m going to go to the effort of exerting myself in any manner, I want to feel like I’ve accomplished something, I want to look like I’ve accomplished something, and I want to see results fast.  Luckily, Beachbody Fitness understands that some of us don’t want wimpy, spandex-wielding, 80′s style bending and stretching.  Instead, we want hardcore workouts with hardcore results.  P90X is designed to give you an amazing transformation in just 90 days (in other words, by the time summer vacation hits).  Insanity is a high-intensity total body conditioning program created by expert Shaun T. to give you amazing results in only 60 days.  For those intimidated by P90X and Insanity, Shaun T. brings Hip Hop Abs, because dancing sounds a lot more fun than a workout so intense you have to be “insane” to try it.  Beachbody trainer Chalene Johnson leads ChaLEAN Extreme and TurboFire–personally, I’m leaning toward one of these two fitness programs.

For those of you who spend your workouts calling on a Higher Power to help you through (and with these intense Beachbody programs, that includes me) Beachbody also offers BodyGospel, combining spiritual and physical fitness.

Now, if I can just get the motivation to actually get off the couch and DO the workouts, instead of sitting on the couch and writing about them, I may just be able to take my legs from this:

to this:

Help me get a beach body, Beachbody!

Hair Remover Help You Kick off Spring with Smooth Skin

Here in our neck of the woods, we’ve gone from record lows to record highs in only a week.   With sub-arctic temps of -38 degrees one week and beautifully warm days in the 80′s the next, we’ve quite literally had a temperature swing of 120 degrees.  With the sneak preview of spring, I’ve realized that in just a few short weeks, it will be time to start thinking about things like wearing skirts without tights and boots, or (gasp) baring my legs in shorts.  This means, of course, I’ll have to start regularly removing the hair from my winter Sasquatch legs . . . and shaving higher than my knees.  Of course, shaving isn’t the only option in hair removal.  Waxing, depilatory creams and gels, even buffers can help make your legs presentable.  Or if not presentable (be sure to tune in next week to read about as seen on TV tanning options), at least smooth and hairless.

The hair remover that paved the way for every future infomercial hair remover is, of course, the unfortunately named Nad’s.  Nad’s was named for Nadine, the daughter of the hair remover’s Australian inventor.  Unfortunately, that name doesn’t translate well for American audiences.  Particularly when uttered by someone using the awkward hand motions in this early Nad’s infomercial:

I find it interesting to compare this early infomercial with the as seen on TV offerings today.  Generally, to advertise a hair remover these days, one would show off a model’s lean, sleek, hair free legs.  The early Nad’s infomercial, however, takes the interesting approach of offering the testimony of two heavyset, hirsute women with nary a smooth, bare leg in sight.

Painless Hair Remover Options

Hair remover products today offer a variety of methods, most of which promote the idea of pain-free hair removal.  Smooth Away (complete with smooth, leggy model) promotes buffing the hair away.  Hair Block is a mess-free roll on depilatory.  Other methods are similar to professional hair remover devices:  Slique replicates the ancient-yet-trendy threading, while No! No! Hair mimics a laser hair remover.

So with Spring teasing me relentlessly, I eagerly anticipate the warmer weather while simultaneously dreading the complications to my beauty and hygiene routine.  No more hiding under bulky sweaters and long pants.  Warm weather means bare skin, and for this pasty, pudgy, slighly prickly writer, it means it’s time to break out the hair remover, the self tanner, and break out Insanity to get fit quick.

But that’s a lot of change from my lethargic winter cocoon.  Let’s not get too crazy yet.  Baby steps.

First, the hair remover.  Everything else follows.

Today’s workouts for men are all about working hard and getting ripped.   The hottest–and hardest–workouts include boot camp workouts, P90x, and Insanity.  The infomercials for these video exercise programs show men dripping with sweat, groaning in agony, and pushing themselves to the limit in order to get the lean, muscular, rippling body I enjoy ogling they want.

But things were not always so difficult for all of these poor men in pursuit of fitness.  Enter the manliest man of them all–Richard Simmons.  Our dear Richard is generally known for cavorting around with the ladies, dancing with them on stage in malls all across America, giving them the confidence to be seen in public “Sweatin’ to the Oldies.”  But Richard knew that men were not immune to the perils of low self-esteem from a less than stellar body.  Because a full THIRTY FIVE PERCENT of his letters come from men, he decided to create a program to help these poor men achieve weight loss results without resorting to grueling, painful workouts.

Enter “Farewell to Fat.”  Today’s seen on TV workout videos are all about feeling the burn and taking your workout to the extreme, and the titles prove it.  TurboFire and Chalean Extreme are only two examples that showwomen aren’t immune to this phenomenon of working out until you drop.  But with Farewell to Fat, the title reflects the softer side of working out.  You can practically see Richard’s wrist a-fluttering as he waves buh-bye to that unwelcome fat.  “Toodle-oo and farewell, fat, old friend!”

With Farewell to Fat, Richard Simmons invited men into his world of booty-shakin’ workouts.  Mall stages weren’t just for women anymore:

Richard Simmons:  The Great Equalizer

(I can’t let this post go without drawing your attention to the spectacular molestache at 0:58.)

With an impending trip to the lake this weekend, it has just hit me that I will be forced to wear a bathing suit–in public–in less than a week.  Of course, this just sets my mind to wondering exactly how many calories I can burn in the next two days.  I think I may have to resort to forcing my fellow vacationers to wear blindfolds.

In the meantime, all of the trauma brought on by the prospect of wearing a small piece of spandex to cover my not-so-small body has made me begin to ponder the evolution of the workout video.   From Jane Fonda first bringing aerobics to your living room and  Richard Simmons being your personal cheerleader as you sweated to the oldies, we’ve come farther than you can stretch a day-glo leotard.

Just take a look at this Jazzercise video from the 80′s.  While not exclusively an as seen on TV, it does have all the crucial elements of an 80′s infomercial workout video:  the big hair, the wedgie-inducing leotards, the bad music, and the really awful moves:

I think I got an ab workout just from laughing so hard.

Of course, now we have things like P90x and Insanity. Check out the difference in the workouts (and in the bodies performing them!):

While I know that nothing is going to get this body ready for the lake by the end of the week, I have no doubt that Tony Horton and Shaun T could have me ready to rock the boat by the end of the summer.

No leotard required.

P90X and Insanity have just been added to our product line-up, and we have more BeachBody products coming soon.  P90X and Insanity are some extremely intense home exercise programs.  I should know – I’ve done them both (actually, just about to finish up the Insanity program this week).

They are tough, but if you really want results you’ve got to work at it.  I struggled a lot through both of the programs.  With Insanity, even after 2 months, the warmup still feels  like a pretty good workout, and I am absolutely wiped out and sweating like a horse after the complete workout.  And while I can’t speak for everyone, I’ve have been extremely pleased with my results on these 2 programs.

P90X is geared more toward building strength, while Insanity is to build cardio endurance and help you tone.  I didn’t stick to the diet very well (the programs come with a very detailed diet plan in addition to the exercise), or I would probably have had phenominal results, but here’s what I did experience:

• Lost 20lbs
• Went from a size 40 waist to a 36
• Went from doing 2 pullups to 15 (plus more curls, pushup, situps, increased resistance, etc)
• More definition in chest, biceps, triceps
• Better abs (still have a little bulge to get rid of right in the middle, but I can see abs and obliques now with some definition)

I did lay off the soft drinks quite a bit – still have 1 or 2 a week, so I am sure that helped as well.

Both P90X and Insanity are great programs, but you really do have to be determined and committed to get through them.  I’ll wrap up Insanity in a few days, take a little break for the Holidays, and get started again in the New Year.