As Seen On TV Christmas List

• Forever Lazy – I’m not gonna lie.  This looks super cozy and comfortable.  For someone who works from home, this would be the perfect gift.  I may never wear actual clothes again.  At least until spring.
• Instyler – If I’m not mistaken, this made my list last year, but I didn’t find it in my stocking.  I think if I’m going to be spending my days in a giant, adult sized onesie, at least my hair should look good.
• Flex Seal – I know–household products shouldn’t really be on a Christmas list.  Next thing you know I’ll be asking for a blender.  But I really, really want to make a boat out of a screen door.
• Ninja Kitchen Blender – Yep.  I told you I’d be asking for a blender next.  I have a blender already.  It even has a food processing bowl.  But it is not this cool.  Not. At. All.
• Flex Mini – Seriously.  I can tone my butt without ever doing a single squat?  Sign me up.
• Any of the Beachbody videos - I don’t really like to work out, but I do really like to eat.  If I’m going to work out, I want it to be worth my time and energy.  I want it to feel like a workout, and I want results.  Beachbody workouts like P90x, Insantity, TurboFire, and Chalean Extreme are effective workouts for people who aren’t afraid to work hard to get results fast.

If I’ve been good enough this year, expect to see me in January, recovering from my Insanity workout by mixing up a healthy detox smoothie in my Ninja Kitchen Blender while wearing Forever Lazy and getting a workout boost from my Flex Mini.  And, gurrrl, my hair will look goooood.

Of course, money does not, in fact, grow on trees, so I have really worked to curb my impulse spending.  Instead buying the things that I oh-my-goodness-have-to-have-now, I have started keeping a mental As Seen On TV wishlist.  Here are some of my top picks on infomercial products that I desperately want (and will only be able to refrain from buying for so long):

1. The Instyler – Smooth, shiny, and bouncy hair?  Eliminate frizzies in less time?  Straight hair that isn’t smashed flat and limp?  Using one tool to curl or straighten?  Who wouldn’t love this?!  Sign me up.
2. The Flex Mini – Okay, seriously.  A butt workout without working out.  A lunge-free and squat-free way to get firm thighs and rounded glutes.  It’s on.
3. Big Top Cupcake – I don’t honestly know why I want this so badly.  I just do.  I think it would be fun to make these for my son’s birthday parties.  Or maybe it’s just the idea of a ginormous cupcake sounds so heavenly.
4. Luminess Airbrush Tan – I was raised in the era of the “healthy glow” by a mother who ingrained in me that “tan fat looks better than white fat,” but am now forced to face the facts about the sun’s damaging properties.  With an airbrush tan, maybe I could have that sunkissed look I love without those pesky wrinkles and melanoma.
5. Gyro Bowl – I have a toddler.  End of story.

Of course, this is an incomplete list of Stuff I Want.  I pretty much want every Beachbody exercise DVD program and all of the plants that let me grow my own cherries/blueberries/peppers/insert-produce-here at home.  As long as I’m doing this, I know my As Seen On TV wishlist will continue to grow like grass on a Canada Green lawn.

On a side note, a few of the products to which I’ve already succumbed include Strap Perfect, Kangaroo Keeper, Emery Cat, Snuggie, and Bare Lifts–all of which have been well worth it!

What’s on your infomercial wishlist?

Every so often, though, an As Seen on TV product comes around that leaves me scratching my head.  The Happy Hot Dog Man is one such product.  Now, don’t get me wrong--I’m all for making mealtime fun for the kids (I still want a Big Top Cupcake), but the Happy Hot Dog Man may just be taking it one step too far:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0JHLGkiEEU

“It’s like a toy you can eat!!”

To make fun little Hot Dog Men that you can dress and decorate before devouring, simply place the hot dog into the Happy Hot Dog Man press.  In about a second, you can have a Happy Hot Dog Man with arms, legs, and a smiling mouth.  This trick would take you about three seconds with a knife, so you can see what a time saver it is.  It even comes with a Ketchup Critter and a Mustard Monster to help your kids make messes decorate the Happy Hot Dog Man.

The Happy Hot Dog Man has been mocked featured on Jimmy Kimmel Live and Good Morning America.

While my initial reaction to the Happy Hot Dog Man is one of ridicule, I actually DO see some practical use for this product.  As the parent of a toddler, I know that making food entertaining is one of the only ways to get a small child to actually eat dinner, rather than pushing it away, saying, “No, mommy!  I don’t like dat yucky dinner!” or throwing it directly on the floor.  And of course, I’m not handing my two-and-a-half year old a knife and having him make his own Happy Hot Dog Man, lest we venture to the hospital to see Happy ER Doctor for a set of stitches.

Maybe the Happy Hot Dog Man isn’t such a silly infomercial kitchen product after all.

In the episode, Marisa Woolsey says that she prefers to be called an infomercial junkie, rather than an addict.  Her compulsion to buy infomercial products, she says, comes from an overwhelming desire to know if the products really work as they claim to.  When Woolsey’s infomercial buying began to impact the family budget, Woolsey took a second job rather than curbing her spending.  She likens receiving a product in the mail to opening presents on Christmas, saying she can’t wait to try out her new purchase.  Apparently, Woolsey is a satisfied customer, or else she would likely not keep buying infomercial products.  In fact, she enjoys her purchases so much that she has taken her “addiction” and turned it into a service:  she has started a blog, Confessions of an Infomercial Junkie.  On her blog, she includes video reviews of each product she buys and demonstrates her personal results with each product or tool.  Her favorite As Seen On TV kitchen products and beauty products?  SodaStream, Ninja Master Prep, Bare Minerals, and the Instyler.

Though the Infomercial Junkie credits a need to know if a product’s claims are genuine with her urge to buy, Infomercial King Kevin Harrison says basic marketing strategies are at play.  Harrison, a featured investor on the ABC show Shark Tank, has been involved with over 500 infomercial products and has reached over $4 billion in sales.  According to Harrison, there are three basic elements to every successful As Seen On TV pitch:

• Tease
• Please
• Seize

In the “Tease,” says Harrison, infomercials identify a problem.  Whether the problem is as complicated as successfully hanging a picture straight or as simple as covering yourself with a blanket while trying to read makes no difference.  The point is that when the pitchman asks, “Has this every happened to you?” you answer with a resounding, “Yes!  And it drives me nuts!”  Identifying this nuisance in your life makes you realize there has to be a better way.

Next comes the “Please.”  In this stage of the infomercial, you are shown the solution to your problem:  a blanket with sleeves (Snuggie), a gadget that automatically stirs your pot (RoboStir), a hair styler that leaves your hair sleek and shiny in less time without damaging your hair (Instyler).  For many people, finding a solution to the problem identified in the “Tease” is enough to trigger an urge to buy, but just in case it isn’t, the third phase of the infomercial pitch is employed.

The “Seize” is the infomercial’s attempt to seal the deal, to entice those who may be on the fence about the product to go ahead and buy.  The most common element of the “Seize” is offering something extra to the consumer.  ”But wait, there’s more,” is the common As Seen On TV phrase that triggers the special, limited time bonus offer.  Buy one get one free, free with purchase, free bonuses . . . these are all an attempt to convince consumers to go ahead an buy the infomercial product.

Regardless of consumers know about these common marketing elements, their basic needs and emotions are what ultimately influence their decision to buy.  If an As Seen On TV product will make their lives easier, will provide a solution to an annoying problem, will help them look better, or will provide comfort, then they are likely to buy that product.

View the entire 20/20 Infomercial Junkie segment here:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Peh2WN6Y4Ks

And hair of the 80′s is what brings me to the topic of today’s post.  How could I possibly consider Way Back Wednesday to be an in-depth expose of popular infomercial products of the past without dredging up the FlowBee?

The FlowBee was the vacuum-slash-haircutting tool that people all across the nation were snatching up in order to give really bad haircuts to defenseless children.  The FlowBee was first seen on TV infomercials in 1988, and it was hawked by its creator, Rick Hunt.   Hunt was a carpenter who thought that there had to be a good way to get the sawdust out of his hair . . . and give himself a haircut at the same time.  Thus, the FlowBee was born.

Hunt took his invention to the television airwaves and launched a home-styling phenomenon.  How could the FlowBee fail to be successful when it was marketed with such lines as, “I’m a carpenter.  I’m not a hairdresser,” and the oh-so-convincing line, “As you can see, it’s a pretty good haircut for one I did on myself.”

That’s right.  It’s not just “pretty good.”  It’s pretty good for a haircut that a carpenter with no experience or training as a stylist gave himself.

Doesn’t that just make you want to rush right out and buy one?

But wait.  There’s more.

The FlowBee wasn’t just a motorized haircutting apparatus with spinning blades. The blades were actually attached to a vacuum hose.  With its rotating blades and vacuum hose, the FlowBee was one infomercial product that really . . . um . . . sucked.  No more difficult, unweildy broom to help you sweep up the remnants of your home-haircut.  The FlowBee just whisked all that mangled hair right down the hose, getting rid of all the evidence of your do-it-yourself ‘do.

Well.  Not all the evidence.  You still had to walk around in public with your FlowBee haircut.  But hey–it’s pretty good for a haircut you did yourself.

While we’ve had some products available for Canadian customers in the past, you can now easily find a list of Seen On TV items available in Canada by visiting canada.seenontvexpress.com.  In addition, our product pages now clearly show whether a product is available in Canada, and our search results and category lists also identify products that are available in Canada.

We hope our new SeenOnTV Express Canada store is helpful and convenient for our Canadian customers, and that our format makes it easy for you to find the products you want.  We hope you’ll like the new As Seen On TV Canada store, and we’d be happy to hear your opinion so that we can continue to improve this feature in the future.