Thanksgiving is a time where we all take a minute to focus on the things for which we are grateful.  For many Americans, a minute is all the gratitude gets, and then focus turns to the gigantic smorgasbord of delectable holiday dishes spread before them.

Speaking of “spread,” that’s exactly what begins to happen to one’s softer body parts . . . belly, thighs, butt . . . after all of this Thanksgiving indulgence.  With Christmas just around the corner, though, a lot of people don’t want to put the time or effort into dieting or losing weight until the start of the New Year.   I mean, why try to fight all the temptation, right?  The siren song of the pie is far too strong.

Luckily, there are temporary solutions to the post-Thanksgiving weight gain that can keep you looking great at holiday parties, even as you graze the hors d’oeuvres table or add an extra dollop of whipped cream to your second–or third–slice of pie.  As Seen on TV shapewear promises to comfortably smooth your bulges, firm you flab, and hide your muffin top while you enjoy breakfast muffins.

Here are a few of my favorites:

• Slim N Lift Supreme Comfort Body Shaper – slims from the bustline to the knee for smooth, bulge-free back, waist, hips, and thighs
• Kymaro Body Shaper – includes both cami and shorts, worn separately or together, for shapely support when and where you need it
• Curve Control Jeans – stylish jeans that flatten the stomach, lift the buttocks, and slim and trim the hips and thighs, flattering all body types

Of course, these products are designed to help you look better–they are designed to fit comfortably while giving a slimmer appearance.  Sometimes, though, you just want comfort.  Maybe you want your favorite jeans to fit like they did before Thanksgiving.  Maybe you want to hang out in your pajamas all day–or just feel like you are.  There are As Seen On TV products that fit the bill for those needs as well:

• Perfect Fit Button – designed to adjust the waistband of any pants.  Extend the waist after Thanksgiving, then take it in after your New Year’s Resolution to lose weight kicks in.
• Pajama Jeans – look like jeans but fit like cozy pajama pants.  Throw them on in the morning and you don’t have to worry about changing into suitable clothes when you run out for errands.
• Forever Lazy – If you know you’ll be staying in, spend your day in this super-soft fleece adult onesie.  No binding snaps, straps, buckles, zippers, or waistbands.  Just pure comfort all day long.

With As Seen on TV shapewear and loungewear, you can look great and feel great.  But order yours now.  We won’t take it easy on you for long.  Coming soon:  As Seen on TV fitness products to get your body back in shape once your holiday excuses are gone.

Smooth, tan, hairless legs?  Check.  Toned, shapely legs?  Mm . . . not so check.  As my get-ready-for-Spring plan develops, I’m now saddled with the part I like the least.  Working out.  Time to get a beach body before I have to actually hit the beach.  Or the kiddie pool in my back yard.  Whatever.

Now, I know that working out releases endorphins, improves energy, promotes cardiovascular health, boosts metabolism, builds muscle, and all that good stuff, but the truth is, well, I’m really pretty lazy.  Some people enjoy working out, some people work out for better health, but me?  I work out so I can eat cupcakes and still button my pants.  Of course, with as seen on TV products like the Big Top Cupcake,  I may have to step up the workouts a little more (or buy the Perfect Fit Button, whichever).

In the SeenOnTV Express neck of the woods, Spring Break will be here next week.  That means that it is just a matter of moments, practically, until I will be forced to publicly unveil my legs below the knee (even possibly *gasp* above the knee) and my batwing arms will be displayed for the world as the tank tops come out of storage.  Because of the rapidly impending fabulous weather, I need a fitness program that works and works fast.

This?  This ain’t going to cut it:

I mean, sure, I could cover my calves and ankles with leg warmers, put a thick leather belt on over my briefs to try to camouflage my waist, and divert the eye of the beholder with the sheer height of my hair, but that would be cheating, right?

(And oh-my-goodness, is that guy wearing spandex capris?!)

As much as I dislike working out, I hate working out ineffectively even more.  If I’m going to go to the effort of exerting myself in any manner, I want to feel like I’ve accomplished something, I want to look like I’ve accomplished something, and I want to see results fast.  Luckily, Beachbody Fitness understands that some of us don’t want wimpy, spandex-wielding, 80′s style bending and stretching.  Instead, we want hardcore workouts with hardcore results.  P90X is designed to give you an amazing transformation in just 90 days (in other words, by the time summer vacation hits).  Insanity is a high-intensity total body conditioning program created by expert Shaun T. to give you amazing results in only 60 days.  For those intimidated by P90X and Insanity, Shaun T. brings Hip Hop Abs, because dancing sounds a lot more fun than a workout so intense you have to be “insane” to try it.  Beachbody trainer Chalene Johnson leads ChaLEAN Extreme and TurboFire–personally, I’m leaning toward one of these two fitness programs.

For those of you who spend your workouts calling on a Higher Power to help you through (and with these intense Beachbody programs, that includes me) Beachbody also offers BodyGospel, combining spiritual and physical fitness.

Now, if I can just get the motivation to actually get off the couch and DO the workouts, instead of sitting on the couch and writing about them, I may just be able to take my legs from this:

to this:

Help me get a beach body, Beachbody!

For a very special, post-holiday version of Way Back Wednesday, we’re going all the way back to last week to look closely at the perils of Thanksgiving.  While you may think that scorched sweet potatoes or being forced to endure Great Aunt Tillie’s Mystery Jello Mold may rank among the greatest dangers of Thanksgiving, such thoughts are woefully misguided.  Oh, no, my friend–the hazards are much, much more horrifying.

Enter Exhibit A:

Photo credit: ehow.com

Fortunately, until your As Seen on TV exercise videos and infomercial fitness equipment kick in, there’s the Perfect Fit Button, which our unfortunate Thanksgiving victim above clearly needs.  With the Perfect Fit Button, he could adjust his waistband to give him a little extra breathing room until January when he resolves to lose that spare tire, instead of simply walking around with his pants open like some kind of Thanksgiving pervert.  (Uncle Bill, take note.)

What’s that you say?  Gaining a few holiday pounds is not a true danger?  Well, tell that to your cardiologist, and then take a look at this holiday horror–the exploding deep fried turkey:

Strangely, this phenomenon is so common, there are even Public Service Announcements warning people against deep frying a turkey.  The number of videos of people setting their holiday meal on fire (not to mention their eyebrows) is staggering.  Luckily, there is an infomercial cooking product to save the day and keep you from looking like this in all of your family holiday photos:

From NBC's Seinfeld

The Butterball Indoor Electric Turkey Fryer is safe enough to use on your kitchen countertop, with a fill-line to keep you from overfilling your grease, which, in a traditional turkey fryer would spill over the top and onto the open flame below, thus incinerating your backyard.  Also, the Butterball Turkey Fryer has a heating element that submerges into the unit, rather using an actual fire. Thanks to Butterball, you no longer have to try to stretch your holiday meal, sans turkey, to feed the entire fire department in addition to your passel of relations–including Aunt Tillie and Uncle Bill.

My plan for this day-before-Thanksgiving post was to talk about all the infomercial kitchen products designed to make your life easier, since some of us (not me) will spend hours slaving in the kitchen to create a feast that will be devoured in approximately 30 minutes, preceded by whines of “When is dinner going to be ready,” and followed up by lengthy naps in front of the television.

Yep, that was the plan, until during the course of my Way Back Research, I discovered a product I just have to share with you.  I am so dumbfounded by this product, that I have no words to introduce it to you.  Instead, I will just allow you to be as shocked and confused by it as I am:

Really?  The UroClub?  I’m telling you, this thing not only blows my mind, but it puts the Potty Putter to shame.  You’d think all golfers had overactive bladders.  I mean, you can practice putting while you take care of “business,” and you no longer have to be bothered with the call of Mother Nature when you’re on the green.  It’s . . . disturbing, really.

You know, the point of all as seen on TV products is to solve a common problem, to take an ordinary task and make it easier.  Is grooming your dog difficult?  Try the ShedVac.  Low-cut tops showing too much for the office?  Cami Secret saves the day.  Pants too tight?  The Perfect Fit Button saves your post-holiday wardrobe until your New Year’s Resolution kicks in.

But I’m thinking if you have to relieve yourself during a game of golf?  Do it the old-fashioned way.  Hop on your golf cart and make a pit stop at the pro shop.  Don’t pee in a fake club and carry your own urine around with you until the end of the game.  Please.